She Knows
by Giraffelike
Summary: Takes a closer look at the complicated relationship of Faberry through the eyes of Rachel. The knowing confusion in the mutual interest they have for one another causes tensions to run high as they grow closer.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Be warned that this is a long and slow progression of Faberry. The story picks up with the appearance of Pink!Quinn. Nothing is really consistent with canon Glee after that. I started writing this at the beginning of season 3 and stopped somewhere along the way. I have quite a few chapters already written, so if there is interest I shall post regularly. The M rating is for later. I don't own anything but the words on this page and the mistakes you may find within.

**August 22, 2011**

It's the first day of my senior year here in the ever-judgmental halls of McKinley High. My summer days were filled with lying by the pool, mall dates and sleepovers in the company of Mercedes and Kurt. Most nights were consumed by time spent with Finn, and all in all I'd have to say that it was the best summer I've experienced…not that I have too much to compare it to. Nothing overly exciting happened, but I actually spent time with people outside of my bloodline. I have _friends_ now…actual friends. I'm hoping the theme of the summer can carry over throughout the school year, because I'd love nothing more than to actually _enjoy_ my last year of high school.

As I sit here on the steps of the lunch yard gazing upon my fellow students, I can't help but get a bit lost in staring at the one person everyone can't stop talking about. We'd seen her a few times at the mall over the past couple of months. In an almost natural progression, her appearance would be slightly altered with each sighting. She started with her hair. It began as quirky pink highlights mixed in with the messy blonde bob that I honestly found adorable, but then it turned into the "look at me" hot pink that it is today.

Then came the wardrobe…I believe it was late June when I saw her dressed head to toe in black for the first time. Mini-skirts, fish nets, biker boots and t-shirts donned with slander accompanied the pink hair these days. I honestly don't get it, but she makes it work. She always could make anything look good, so it doesn't surprise me that her all consuming "Fabray strut" is even more effective with the new look. She can turn every head in her vicinity with one step, and a bitchy attitude.

In July I caught her with a cigarette in her mouth. It's all part of the image I suppose. God…why is she so consumed with fitting in somewhere?!

I didn't talk to her this summer…not once. Do I regret it? I suppose so, but what am I really supposed to do about that? I like Quinn. I always have, but we've had a bizarre…relationship over the years filled with every level of drama. I can't honestly call it a friendship, because that's not what it is. Not even a little bit. Everyone knows I've tried, but she just won't have it. If anyone were to ask me why, I have only one possible answer as to why she'll only have me as her enemy. That answer being: she knows what our friendship could be, and she's not ready for it.

She knows I care, because I'm usually the only one to never leave her alone when she wants it most. She knows that I push her to admit things that she'd never reveal to anyone else. She knows that I'm the only one to call her out when she's being unreasonable, and I'm the first one to assure her that she'll be ok in times of distress. She knows, and she doesn't want to deal with anything more than she's ready for. She's so lost and she's nowhere near ready to be found by anyone, much less me.

So there she is, sitting there with an all knowing smirk, lit cigarette in hand, simply listening to the conversations being held by her new band of misfit friends. I don't know that she's talked to anyone else from glee club, but I highly doubt it as no one I've spoken to knows much of anything about her these days. Everyone seems to be content in letting her go her own way, or we all just refrain from talking about her due to a healthy combination of respect and fear.

For now I'm content to wait until glee practice to see if she even shows up. I'm always in a constant debate over what to say to her, but for the first time I'm just genuinely curious. After the first time I saw her this summer, not a day went by after that I didn't think about her. I wanted to know what happened and why she's changed into the version of Quinn she is today. I wanted to call, write or even visit, but I was terrified. She never has responded well to my inquisitions, so I remain silent in my curiosity.

I guess you could say I miss her. Even though our relationship has been controversial, I miss her. She challenges me. She is as much the catalyst to most of my emotional breakdowns as I am hers. My high school experience would be incomplete without her here to dispute my every move. I don't think that we're meant to be friends just yet, because we both see the other as our biggest threat. We're simply meant to co-exist for now with a silent understanding.

The sound of the end of lunch bell brings me from my thoughts as Finn grabs my hand to walk me to my next class. Our relationship has hit a steady calm as we've grown comfortable with one another again. It's nowhere near as thrilling as last year, but we both know it's most likely due to the scars left on our hearts from the past. We're both a bit guarded and I for one won't let myself get excited for this to last through the year without drama. Every day is a new day of hope, so I just lift my eyes to his and give him the shy smile I know he loves.

Finn leaves me with slight squeeze of my hand and a kiss on my cheek as I walk in to the first of my afternoon classes. I let my eyes drift from his as I scan my calculus class for a place to sit. My search halts upon a shaggy hot pink mess of hair just past the top of Artie's head. I look around him to see that there aren't any available seats near her so I just settle in to the desk next to him. Quinn would prefer it this way anyhow.

The class proves to be long and boring, but my mind is far away from anything the teacher might be spouting out. I spare a cheating glance over my left shoulder to catch hazel eyes staring back into mine. I don't react, but simply hold the stare as long as she'll let me. She knows. She knows I'm curious, and she knows I want to ask her a million questions. She doesn't quirk an eyebrow or roll her eyes, but simply shrugs her shoulders as she returns her concentration to our teacher.

The class comes to an end without another look at Quinn and so do two others after that as I find my way into the music room for our after school glee meeting. I'm not the first to arrive, and I simply take my seat in the front row. I can't bring myself to get excited about glee right now as I'm tortured with thoughts of hot pink hair and those damn hazel eyes that look to know everything and nothing at the same time. I'm only hoping that the find their way back to glee.

We're not short on members this year as we've added 6 new people to the club. The one person I was hoping would show is nowhere to be seen, and I can't help but wonder if she's still on campus as I clear my throat and speak for the first time today.

"Mr. Schue, can I please be excused for a moment?" Finn turns to give me a curious look, but I flash him a reassuring smile and simply say "It's okay…I just need to visit the ladies room. I'll be back". He nods and I'm out of the room and running to the parking lot to see if I can catch Quinn. I open the front doors to an almost empty parking lot with only the cars of after school club members left behind. No Quinn in sight. I'm not even sure why I even bothered looking…what compels me to do these things no one will ever know.

My shoulders slump just a little bit before I make my way to the auditorium to clear my head before I go back to glee. My eyes are cast downward as I open the doors and make my way down the aisles to the stairs leading up to the stage. However, as I take the first step I hear the pivoting of a stance and the first step of a combat boot as I rest my eyes upon a retreating Quinn.

"Quinn, wait…please?"

She takes a few more steps but pauses just before she reaches the curtains leading backstage. She turns around with a reluctant expression and without moving forward says, "You should be in glee".

"So should you", are the only words that leave my lips. She sighs with a heavy breath and tilts her head back in frustration before her eyes reach mine.

"And what would give you that idea Rachel? I haven't talked to anyone in months, I have new friends and no one has even approached me this summer until this moment. Why would the glee club even _need_ me now?"

"We don't", I say simply. Quinn's jaw drops slightly at the harsh reply and it looks as though she might turn to leave before I approach her and grab her wrist lightly to get her attention back to me as I say my next words. "We don't _need_ you Quinn. We have plenty of members this year to get by. I _want_ you there."

In a state of disbelief she begins to say, "Rachel, I swear I will never understand you. I know you must be as curious as everyone else, but just let me be okay? Considering all that happened last year, why would you want me in there anyway?"

I ponder my next response carefully as I stare into her eyes with friendly compassion. If I say what I'm about to say I risk a vulnerability to her sometimes venomous reactions. She knows how to get to me…she just knows. I shake the nervous tension off and simply state, "Because I miss you." before turning to walk back to the music room.

"Why is it always you?" Quinn quietly asks as I begin descend the steps.

"Huh?"

"Why are you always the one to come talk to me? Why do _you_ always seek me out, or follow me? Why are _you_ the one to wipe away my tears? Why are _you_ the one to sing to me? Why is it _you_ that constantly challenges me? Why is it always _you_? It's no one else but _you_".

These moments between me and Quinn are always filled with so much tension. THIS is why we aren't friends…moments like this one. She knows I care too much to just let her go on in her new image without an explanation and I know that she desperately wants to give one. She's just too damn stubborn to actually do it. It's with light reluctance that I start to walk back towards her.

"You know why", is all I have to say before she's shaking her head and asking "Why?" again.

"I care Quinn. I care way more than I should about too many things, and you are a part of that. Even though we don't really get along, and our past is…colorful, I care. I know that there is more to you than this exterior caricature, and I want to know_ that_ you. I always have, and you've always been too afraid to let me know. You KNOW why it's always me."

"Yeah, okay, but WHY do you care so damn much? I've given you no measurable amount of reason to, so WHY?"

"For the same reasons you do Quinn. We were put here in this school to challenge each other, because no one else will. Sure I have other competitors in glee, but they don't challenge ME. They make me a better singer while _you_ make me a better _me_. You've found your escape for now, but that girl that stares whimsically as we sing is going to miss us eventually. I know you love music way more than you'll ever admit to anyone, but you just get too caught up in high school to care. Plus, you know me…I'm really curious as to what _this_ is all about." With that, I wave my hand at her wardrobe and throw her a raised eyebrow of my own.

"I'm just so tired, Rachel. I'm tired of trying to be everything everyone wants me to be." She drops open palms to her sides and continues, "_This_ is just easier than being all of _that_."

"It's going to be an interesting year, Quinn. I hope you find happiness with your new friends, but you're in this auditorium for a reason. I know you're going to miss it. I'm going to miss you. Even if you don't think anyone else does, just know that _I_ miss _you_." I smirk with my closing line, "God knows we could use some more color in glee."

With that I turn and walk back to glee with hope for tomorrow. There is so much more I want to tell her, but I can't find the energy to do it. I know she's not ready, so I don't want to push. Caring too much has led me to push too hard in the past, and I can't do that right now. We need me to be patient this time.

**August 26, 2011**

The next three days go by much the same as the first. I'm uncharacteristically quiet lately as everyone around me flails in excitement over the latest gossip during lunch. I can't bring myself to care, because I'm all too aware that every story will change 100 times before the end of the day. I'm much too busy with my own thoughts as I watch Quinn across the way.

Her hair is faded from Monday, which proves my theory that the pink is simply a wash out dye. The fishnets and miniskirt are gone, and replaced with some black skinny jeans and some pink converse tennis shoes. Her shirt is a vintage shirt of sorts with the logo of some band she most likely knows nothing about. She's smoothing out her edge, and I notice every change. She looks away from her conversation long enough to give me a quick smile before she's speaking to her companion again.

The rest of Friday goes by in a flash as I stroll into glee hand in hand with Finn. As we take our seats in the front row I look to the door to see Quinn confidently walk in to take the seat to my left. I look at her profile, quietly let out an all-knowing chuckle with a side of shit eating grin, and turn to Mr. Schue for him to begin our discussion. He curiously welcomes her back and we begin rehearsal.

15 minutes later…

"Good GOD, Rachel! You are insufferable! Just let Tina have the damn solo this ONE time and get over yourself for 5 minutes! You never change do you?"

I've been arguing with Mr. Schue about this particular song for 10 minutes before Quinn interrupts with her outburst. I whip my head in her direction, smile mischievously, think "God I've missed this", and fight back.

"Oh like you would know! You've been stomping around in your combat boots with Motley Crue this whole time. But fine…Tina, the song is all yours."

Over the years Quinn's outbursts have become a way of her keeping me in check. We both know that I most likely won't shut up until she speaks up. She's my catalyst and somewhere along the line we both learned and adapted to it. She knows how to get to me. No one else's insults have quite the same sting, and if the newly crowned punk princess thinks I'm out of line, I'll believe her.

As glee comes to an end, I kiss Finn goodbye for the day as he has to rush to football practice. I notice Quinn is the last one filing out of one of the doors…

"Quinn?" She spins around on her heal with the eyebrow already quirked.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're back."

"Sure." She winks, turns around and is out the door and gone.

**September 26, 2011**

As the heat of summer fades away and the fall weather encroaches, the days go by much the same as the Friday Quinn came back to glee. We don't talk to one another, but we exchange smiles in the halls and bitch at each other in glee. It's not perfect, but it's high school. She knows I care and that is enough for now.

Her hair is completely blonde again, and she maintains the messy bob that I've grown quite fond of. Her wardrobe has mellowed out a bit and she usually sticks to the skinny jeans and t-shirts with an occasional appearance of a dress or two. It's nice to see. She seems more…Quinn. I would feel like a stalker, but I know she watches me with the exact same intensity.

She still hangs out with the same friends at lunch, but not exclusively. I've noticed that she roams around the lunch yard to have polite conversations with some Cheerios, kids from our classes, and she occasionally drops by the glee table. She never really does engage me though.

Quinn and I can't really have polite conversations. Our relationship is too plagued with tension at this point and our talks will leave us with too much apprehension if we were to start one. I still think about our conversation from the first day of school and it's been a month. We're not friends, and neither of us pretends to be.

We could be friends though…the best of even. Maybe it's immaturity keeping us apart? Whatever it is, we're both perfectly content in our current state. We're just…us.

**December 20, 2011**

It's not until the day before we're to break for Christmas that we talk again. I took a breather from my usual lunch table to spend some time in the auditorium before I'm without it for two weeks. As I sit on the edge of the stage and hum the melody to Ariel's "Part of Your World", Quinn walks in and sits beside me. She doesn't say anything, but begins hum along in harmony.

Our song comes to an end and in classic Rachel Berry form, jump right in to interrogation mode…"What are you doing here?"

"I came looking for you." She replies apathetically.

"Oh. Why?" I finally turn to her. I honestly don't know why she's here.

"I don't know really. We don't have glee today and I just wanted to see if there was a chance I could bitch at you one last time before break." I turn in disbelief and am met with a friendly smile. "But you're here alone humming songs from Disney, and I like Disney, so…no bitching."

There's moment where all I can hear is the sound of our breathing before she start's up again.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I missed you this summer."

"I missed you too."

"I know we're not friends, but…I missed…us."

"I know what you mean."

"Do you think we'll ever be friends? I feel more myself this year than I ever have before. I feel no pressure to complete anyone's vision of perfection, I have friends that are void of expectations, and I just feel free. The only thing missing…is purpose."

"Not sure I'm following…"

"Purpose. I'm happy, but I don't know what comes next. I have the grades and money to get me in to any college I want, but I just don't know what I'm doing...Did you get in to Tisch?"

"I did. You're the first person to ask actually. The letter just came yesterday and I…"

"I figure you would have made an announcement over the intercom…" she sarcastically interrupts. Her gaze shifts to an intense stare as she tells me "I got a letter too."

"You…What? You applied to Tisch? Wait…you got IN to Tisch?"

She shakes her head slightly, and looks back to me with something resembling shyness. "Julliard actually." I must have a dumbfounded face on, because she continues with, "I know…who knew right? My mom actually encouraged me. I practiced every day this summer and even took a trip to New York to audition. I don't know if I want to play the piano forever, but I love it right now."

"That's why you were in the auditorium that day…to see if you wanted it to be your future. It had nothing to do with glee. Huh…" Now I just feel stupid.

"That's not entirely true. I still don't know what I'm going to do. I do know that I love being on this stage. Everyone thought I went down some deep depressing hole over the summer, when I was just taking time away from everything I knew to expose myself to everything I didn't. Finding new friends this summer allowed me acceptance. They didn't know me and they just took me in. I fell in to the same patterns trying to fit the group norm, but after our talk I guess I realized that I didn't need to."

"You're losing me again…"

"Oh, come on…you just want me to say it. You KNOW! You care Rachel…no matter what I dress like or whose baby I'm pregnant with, you care. You challenge me every day and you challenged me most that day. I looked ridiculous and you saw right through it. I knew that everyone else would too soon after, so I came to my senses."

"The catalyst."

"Exactly…no matter what direction I'm headed, you're the one spin me in the right one. If I'm falsely happy, you annoy me into honesty. If I'm sad, you comfort me. I bitch slap you in a fit of unwarranted rage, and then apologize a second later. I dress like an idiot, you couldn't care less and then I try to change without anyone noticing. You keep me in check."

We both pause and think for a moment after that. She knows what we are to each other and she knows that this is all we need from each other right now. She came to me because she's confused about her future and hopeful that I might piss her off in one direction or the other.

"Do you want to go to New York?"

"Yes, no and every answer in between. Are you going?"

I look at her in a state of dumbfounded shock, and she immediately understands the idiocy of her question.

"Right…stupid question."

"I know you came here hoping for direction maybe, but you know I can't tell you what to do. Do you want to play the piano?"

"I do. My mother has been so supportive this year and is even encouraging me to go. She knows I want this."

"So what's the hold up?"

She lets out a hushed chuckle, "I guess…I guess as always, it's _you_."

The only thing I'm capable of in this moment is staring at her with my jaw in my lap. I want her to go to New York…I really do, but I can't be the reason she stays away. The bell brings me out of my trance and she gets up to leave with one last comment.

"New York could be fun, Rach. Have a good holiday, and I'll see you next year."

With that she's on her way to the door. Well I'll be damned…she wasn't looking for an answer, but a reaction.

"Happy holidays, Quinn. Tell your mom hello!"

She turned around and nodded with a smile before exiting the auditorium. I had only met her mom a few times, but it seems as though this year she has taken a vow to really be there for Quinn. At sectionals she was in the front row cheering us on and even came up to compliment my solo when we won the trophy. I'm glad Quinn finally has some one caring about her at home. It seems to have made all the difference this year. Quinn Fabray is happy…ish.


	2. Chapter 2

**January 1, 2011**

Hanukah and Christmas flew by in a blink and I already miss them both. I saw Finn a few times and he gave me another cliché piece of jewelry with another musical symbol. I'll have the entire musical library in gold and diamonds before I'm 25. Yay. Our relationship is so easy this year, but it just feels like a means to an end. There's nothing wrong per se, but we both know we are headed in different directions. We established that much at the end of last year. My only debate is whether to end it now or later. I'll cry, sure but I know that it's only a matter of time.

I'm enjoying the annual Berry New Year's brunch with my dads as we discuss my future. Dad returns to the table with yesterday's mail that we forgot about until now and he hands me a letter envelope addressed to me and I immediately know who it's from. I'd know that handwriting anywhere after the variety of notes I've received in the past. I open the letter and find a photocopied letter that reads:

_To whom it may concern,_

_I am delighted to accept your offer of early admittance to your school this summer. I look forward to working with the endlessly talented staff and learning from both mentors and peers. Thank you for this wonderful opportunity._

_Sincerely in your regard,_

_Lucile Quinn Fabray_

My dad brings me from my smiling stupor when he asks who the letter is from.

"It's from Quinn. She's going to Julliard this summer."

"Well isn't that awkwardly wonderful?! Looks like you won't be alone in New York this summer after all."

I talk about Quinn often, and they both know about our colored past and they know where we stand today. They oddly understand it all more than I'd like them too, but they never question my judgment when it comes to my interactions with her. They just seem to…know.

"Well it's a big city and we're at separate schools, but it looks like it...should be interesting."

I should have congratulated her that day she told me. All throughout the vacation I thought how I could have made the situation better. I feared my indifference would lead her astray, but it seems as though my reluctance in encouraging her was the right choice. She didn't need me to tell her she should go. She knew that we both wanted her to.

I can't help but beam with pride at the thought of being the first to know where Quinn Fabray is headed after graduation. I doubt she's even told anyone else about Julliard as no one else even knows what a talented pianist she is. The only reason I know is because I was late to a writing session last year and couldn't bear to interrupt her while she played. She really is spectacular and I have no idea why she hides behind so many masks.

Quinn was right. New York could be fun. Right now I think we're both just riding out the end of senior year until we can get on with the rest of our lives. She's just as earnest as I am to put high school in the past where it belongs, so we're both praying for the rest of winter and spring to just move along.

**March 9, 2012**

"How did I know I'd find you here?"

I once again find myself on the stage of the auditorium during our last lunch before spring break when Quinn finds me. I greet her with only a smile before she takes the spot next to me. She takes out a book and begins to read, but quickly puts it down and speaks again.

"Thank you."

I turn to face her, "For what?"

"For letting me be this year. You left me alone when I asked you to, and I appreciate it. You didn't hound me incessantly to go back to glee and it spoke more clearly to me than anything you've ever said. You care about me, but it even appears as if you also respect me."

"Of course I do. I always have."

"Oh please, Rachel! You care, but respect is a new addition to our relationship."

Ha ha…she calls it a relationship too.

"Oh fine. You're not the only one that needed to figure things out this year. There…happy?" My smirk is annoyed now.

"More so now than ever. Hey, I'm sorry for the other day."

In glee on Monday she got extra heated in calming me down from one of my tirades. She had to use a little more…force than usual when I wouldn't let Santana sing with Finn. I may be growing, but I still have my vices. I fell into Santana's game of bitter words when Quinn finally stood before me with the worst scowl I'd ever seen. She grabbed me forcefully by the shoulders and just looked at me. She didn't say anything and just sat me in my chair. She immediately reminded me that this argument wasn't even worth it. New York is my future.

"Why would you apologize for that?"

"I've never grabbed you before. I thought I may have hurt you."

"Oh. Yeah that took me by surprise, but I needed it. As always I appreciate the drama of your violent ways. Thanks for the apology though."

She is still the only one with the ability to snap me out of my dramatic fits instantly. She just knows. It's annoying, but she knows. I'm back to my daydreaming while she starts reading her book again. I can't help but think about what New York will be like.

"Quinn? Do you think we'll be like this in New York too?"

"Like what?"

"You know…this. This non friendly friend thing."

"How should I know? This just works for now though…doesn't it? You're happy, I'm happy and we're just biding our time until we're not anymore."

I know she's right…she always is. She has her friends, and I have mine and that's fine for now.

"You're right. Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"Ass. Seriously…why do you always come find me before we break?"

"Well I wouldn't classify twice as always, but it's because you always come find me. I know we never talk, and we only share awkward glances across the lunch yard, but I notice when you're not around. I miss you."

I can't help but smile at her when she says that, and I let the smile stay as she continues.

"I mean, you infuriate me beyond imaginable boundaries, but for whatever reason you understand me better than anyone in this school. I don't know how or when it happened, but you just do."

" I guess when you break each other down enough times, you learn...something."

"I can't handle these conversations on a daily basis just yet Rach, so I figure it's best to have them when we won't see each other for a few days. It gives us time to recoup before we meet again. I do miss you when we are away though. No one will believe you if you tell them that, so don't get any ideas."

"Don't flatter yourself Fabray"

"You've changed so much this year Rachel. What is it?"

"I've just accepted that high school is all this will ever be. This is already my past, so I'm just simply choosing to care more about my future. Finn knows it, Schue knows it, and the rest of this school somehow figured it out enough to leave me alone. I'm done trying to fit in and just accepting that this is it for now." I raise an all-knowing eyebrow and say, "You know that better than anyone."

"True…I just wanted to hear you say it" She smirks.

"You've changed more than anyone, Quinn. How does it feel?"

"It feels…incomplete."

Before I'm able to ask her what she means the bell rings, she jumps off the stage and walks out the door shouting "Have a good break, Rach!"

Oh Goodie…another awkward ending to another awkward conversation.

**Graduation Day**

I was disappointed on the last day of school when Quinn didn't join me in the auditorium for lunch. We we're graduating and she didn't come talk to me and it…it…it stung a little. I never came to expect anything from the girl, but I let myself get excited anyhow. I should have known better, because Quinn Fabray was nothing if not unpredictable.

So here we sit on the football field upon our last day of high school awaiting the rest of our lives. Mr. Figgins just gave an awkward speech about achievement and now Sue Sylvester is rambling insults about how none of us met her expectations. I started tuning her out in the middle of my junior year, so I have no idea what she's saying anymore. The only thing I can seem to focus on is Quinn Fabray. She's just staring off somewhere just waiting to give her speech. She surprised everyone when she managed to out rank us all into the Valedictorian spot.

She must have been lost in her thoughts as well as I see her snap her head towards Sue when her name is called. She lets out a shy smile and makes her way to the podium setting some papers down as she does so. Each hand grips a side of the podium as I hang on her every word.

"You know, if I had remembered that a speech was included with the title of Valedictorian I may have put forth a little less effort on that calculus final."

I snicker bitterly along with the laughter of the crowd as I remember studying endlessly just for the chance to speak on this day. Hmmph…oh well. I guess this was her way of inadvertently shutting me up once again.

"I'll never be the best person that could have been talking to you today, but I'll try to be the right one. These last four years have been filled with every emotion under the sun. We've experienced so much here together, and we haven't even begun to see the real world. It's the only world we know so far, and we'll take it all with us to hopefully find our place out there. I want to start with an apology…"

In that moment Quinn's eyes find mine. She holds them firmly and consoles my looming tears with each new word that escapes her.

"I want to apologize to you all for whatever it may have been that I did to you in the past. No one deserved any of it and I came to realize that I was just as lost as the rest of you. You see…High school is about learning not only from our teachers, but more importantly from each other. We hide from our own weaknesses and dwell on those of our peers. It's inevitable and we're surely to continue that as our days continue. It's just human nature, but I don't want anyone to leave here without recognizing what it means. We were put here in this school with these people to challenge one another. One man's weakness is another's strength, and instead of tearing each other down we should utilize all of it. Each one of us in this world has at least one person that exists to question, contradict and even affect our every move. Someone I know once called it the catalyst. Well…I found my catalyst at 14. We could have been a team, you and me…the best team, but then we would have learned nothing. Sometimes you have to be torn apart to really see what you're made of and learn how to adapt to all of it."

The intensity in her eyes is more passionate than I've ever seen from her...

"Chalk it up to timing or whatever, but I believe that in order to learn the greatest lessons in life one must suffer the greatest consequences. Living without knowing what loss truly means isn't living at all. Challenges and loss make life difficult, but overcoming makes life meaningful. No one's life is perfect no matter how it appears on the outside…just know that. So as I go forward to whichever college I choose and you go forward to yours', please promise me you'll try and learn from one another before you judge. You'll be surprised at what you may find out. Congrats friends!"

And as some of us jump to our feet with our praise, others look forlorn with confusion. Not me though…I understood every word…wait…"whichever college I choose?" Did she just…?

"And now we'll proceed with commencement. Artie Abrams…."

As the list went on and on and we all received our diplomas, shouted, cheered and overflowed with excitement at finally graduating, it was all over. I frantically searched the crowd for any sign of Quinn, frankly because I just wanted to know what she meant by that college nonsense. We were going to New York…weren't we? My search came up empty and I found my way back to my dads. I hugged them, told them I'd meet them at home and made my way to the auditorium for one last visit before I leave it for good. I'm silently praying I find Quinn, but I know not to get my hopes up.

And just as I thought, I open the doors to a dark, empty auditorium. I don't even bother making my way to the stage and instead settle in the first seat I find in the back row. I sit with Quinn's speech engraved in my mind and think this is the last time I ever plan on being in this place…I'm meant for more. I'm not naïve to the idea that my friends from high school won't be around forever, and I actually look forward to meeting those who will be in my life permanently.

My time here was filled with memories both painful and pleasant and I will remember it all before more important memories replace them. High school is the past, and I am meant for every moment of my forever. Chin up Berry…you survived high school.

But as I get up and head for the door I hear the opposite door close. My feet move at their own will to that door, hands independent from my mind rip open said door and my eyes watch Quinn Fabray walk out of McKinley for the last time.

**Graduation Night**

After spending a couple of hours enjoying my last moments with my favorite people from my past, I decide it's time for move forward. Finn and Kurt's party has been a blast, but I can only take so much of drunk karaoke. The normal pairs have staked their claim on various rooms in the house, the leftover boys are enthralled in the latest video game, and I'm ready to go. Finn offered me a ride home, but I know he's been drinking and I could use the fresh air from the 15 minute walk.

Where was Quinn? I haven't talked to her in months, and well she hasn't really talked to anyone. She stared me down at graduation and left without as much as a goodbye. She walked away from the auditorium, and didn't even bother showing up at the party. I'm not really sure why I even care, but I just can't help myself. She's my catalyst and she's been dormant since March.

I'm up the front steps about to turn the key to my front door when I hear my name.

"Rach?"

"Ahh!" I shoot back from the door, trip over the top step and tumble down the rest to finally settle on my front walkway. "What the hell, Quinn?!" She's off the porch swing and running towards me before I'm able to sit up properly.

"I'm so sorry Rachel, I…I…I didn't mean to scare you." I can tell she's fighting off a laugh as a smirk sneaks its' way on to that stupidly pretty face. As I stand up and dust myself off I begin to let her have it…

"Well what did you think would happen? It's 10:30 at night, pitch black, you're sitting in the dark and whisper my name out of nowhere like some creeper! I haven't spoken to you in weeks, so I could hardly expect you to be here…and well…what are you doing here?!" I lay my temper aside as my curiosity gets the better of me as always.

"I came looking for you."

She says is at if I should already know…

"Well duh…I realize that seeing as you're at my house, but WHY are you at my house?"

"I wanted to talk to you." Again she says is as if I shouldn't be questioning her…

"Why didn't you just talk to me today in the auditorium?"

"Oh…uh…I didn't realize you saw me…"

"Eloquent today aren't you?"

"Oh shut up…I'm just…I…can we go inside? I've been out here for a while, and I'm kind of cold."

"Well you're in a t-shirt and shorts, how did you exp…wait…how long have you been here?"

"A couple of hours…"

"Why didn't you go to the party?"

She looks at me like I'm supposed to know, but I can't come up with a good reason as to why she wasn't there. She looks nervous for some reason, but maybe she's just cold. I lead to the door with that question and we enter my house. I lead her up the stairs to my room and it's not until we enter that she gives me an answer.

"I just wanted to leave McKinley at McKinley if that makes sense."

"Well it would make sense if you weren't here talking to me right now." I make my way to sit on my bed and she follows suit sitting by my side.

"You've always been more than McKinley, Rach."

I snap my head up with the most curious of smiles to find Quinn simply staring at the fidgety hands in her lap.

"Wow…I'd never thought I'd hear such a thing coming from that mouth."

She snaps her head up in what looks to be apprehension…or sadness maybe…but when she finds my playful grin her eyes relax and she flashes the tiniest of smirks.

"I'm so s.."

"Stop. You don't need to do that."

I can't take a personal apology yet, because I don't know if we're ready to forgive completely. There are so many unanswered questions between us and I'm not ready for th…"YES I DO!"

Or maybe I'm not supposed to be ready.

"Rachel, I have to apologize. I am so freaking sorry for…for…everything."

"See! You don't even know what you're apologizing for!"

She doesn't…how could she? She started insulting me before she knew me and I stole her boyfriend when she needed someone, anyone to help her. We're not ready…it's too soon to start this. We don't know enough.

"Then what am I supposed to do?!"

I can practically hear the tears forming in her eyes…

"Why are we LIKE this? Why did we tear each other apart without even knowing each other?!"

"Because we're kids, Quinn! We're human and that's what humans do. We are both selfish, crazy ladies that care too much about everything and we want it all to go our own way. You said it yourself today! We're here to challenge one another and make each other better. Learn…and all that other stuff you said."

"Yeah, but why did it have to be _you_?"

Tears are the only reaction I have to that question. It sounds regretful, hateful and like she'd wish for anyone else but me. My body takes control leading me to the door and I turn back to face her.

"I…I think you should go"

"Wait…Rach no! I didn't mean that like…that."

"Well then please enlighten me."

"I mean you're this perfectly sweet, innocent dwarf with the voice of a freaking goddess and you of all people are the one to challenge me most in this world! YOU! Santana I'd understand. Mercedes I'd understand…hell even Puck would make more sense! You prance around the damn school with your head held high even when you're draped in corn syrup and it looks as though you're laughing at everyone else on the inside. I try to detach myself from everything involving you just to gain perspective, and still I find myself constantly seeking you! Why is it you?! WHY?!"

"If I had the answer to that question, I'd be the best matchmaker to ever come into existence. I don't have a definitive answer, but I think your speech said it all. We're put here to learn from and challenge one another, and who better to learn from than your polar opposite?"

We both let out a slight chuckle and I find my way back to the bed.

"I know you would have been the best friend I could ever ask for, Rachel. You have to know that."

"I know you know."

"I was nowhere near ready, as you can probably tell."

"We weren't meant to be friends in the past Quinn, or we would have been. We had waaay too much to learn from one another to actually be nice to each other."

We laugh quietly for a few moments and then I remember I have a few questions of my own.

"Today you said something about you having a college to choose from."

"Oh that! That was mostly to confuse everyone, because I don't want them to know where I'm going."

And she smirks…

"And the other part of it?" She looks confused…"You said mostly…"

"Oh…I guess I might be having some second thoughts about Julliard."

"WHAT?!"

Whoa Rachel…calm down…breathe…don't freak her out.

"Whoa, Rach. Calm down."

"Ha…" Breathe Rachel, Breathe. Let the girl speak.

"I also got into writing programs at Columbia and NYU."

"You write?" I honestly had no clue.

"Yes Rachel. I write." She has the nerve to laugh at the obvious answer.

"Why New York? Did you apply anywhere else?"

"No. Something in me just keeps telling me that's where I belong. After Nationals last year I kind of made a promise to myself to get back there."

I can't do anything but smile at the girl.

"You've always been more than McKinley too, ya know."

She looks at me with watery, red, puffy eyes and lets out the most honest smile I've ever seen.

"Sooo…what are you going to do? Doesn't your summer program start next week?!"

"I know…see…that's kind of what I came here to talk to you about."

"You know I can't tell you what to do."

"I know I know…I guess I wanted to just see your reaction."

I know exactly what she means…she needed it before and she needs it now.

"You just need to follow your heart Quinn. If you want to play the piano, then play the damn piano. If you want to write, then by all means write. You'll be in New York, so I don't care where you go as long as it's where you want to be."

"I knew you'd say that."

We both smile. I really don't care where she ends up, because I'm just glad she took it upon herself to get out of this town.

"I really don't think there is a bad choice here, Quinn."

"Why do you say that?"

"I…I…uh…" I really don't know if I'm ready to be THAT vulnerable and tell her my selfish reasons for wanting her in New York.

"Who's eloquent now?!"

The Fabray eyebrow is at high peak with that one. Ugh…I should probably speak now…

"I just want you in New York…in whatever capacity. They're all great schools with wonderfully diverse programs and you can't go wrong. We've spent the better part of high school making each other's lives a living hell, but for some reason I can't help but want you in my life somewhere. It's like gravity…I just feel this pull. I'm probably saying WAY more than I should to the completely wrong person, but I'm Rachel Berry and I always say more than I should, but I just can't help it and I don't know why I can't stop talking right now as I'm not really saying ANYthing at all, and I…"

"Rachel!" She grabs me by the shoulders with force, and thank god because I didn't know if I actually could shut up. I let out some uncomfortably heavy breaths as she waits for me to gain some semblance of composure.

"Thank you. I don't know what happens to me sometimes."

"It's ok, Rach."

"I just want you in New York is all."

"Me too, Rach…me too."

"Okay, so what do you like more…piano or writing? And what does your mom think?"

"Well…I love both, and she's just happy that I'll be doing something that I love. She doesn't care where I go as long as I'm happy."

"She's really done a 180 on you hasn't she?"

"I know right?!"

"You know, Quinn…Julliard has a liberal arts program too…"

"I'm well aware. But it's missing one little thing."

"And that would be?" I inquire with the smirkiest smirk I've ever smirked and she catches mine with one of her own.

"So, why don't you just go to the summer program and see how it goes?" I ask, trying to point her in a direction if she's even looking for one.

"I don't know, Rachel. I don't want to be that girl who commits to something, taking someone else's spot to only turn away from it months later. I think Julliard just might be a little bit too limited for me. My mind is still scattered across too many interests and I'm incapable of landing on something I can stick to for the rest of my life right now. I just need time."

Well if that isn't a metaphor for our entire relationship, I don't know what is. I often forget that not every 18 year old in this world is as centrally driven in their futures as I am to mine. We either know who we are professionally, or personally and honestly I don't think Quinn knows either. She's only just begun to discover herself. How could she possibly know what she wants from her future?

"Wait…you sent them a letter of acceptance though. Haven't you already committed?"

"Yes and no. I can always rescind my acceptance and let the first alternate take my spot. I just don't want to commit to the whole summer and have them expect me back in the Fall. I don't think that's fair to anyone."

"I get that, Quinn. I really do. And hey! If you pick NYU, we'd practically be at the same school. We could actually try and be friends."

"I'd really like that, Rachel."

"I'm counting on it, Fabray. I won't have it any other way."

"I'm glad." And with that she gives me the biggest smile I've ever seen grace her face. This is our best conversation, by far.

"Look, I'd better get going. I promised my mom I'd be home before midnight, and well…it's almost that time."

"Crap! Have we been talking that long?!"

"Yeah I guess we have." She stands up and heads to the door and my legs leave me no choice but to follow after her. She turns around once we're down the stairs and at the front door.

"Have a great summer in New York, Rachel. Keep me posted and let me know when your showcase is in August and I'll be there. Until then I guess"

She pulls me into a hug and I rest my chin on her shoulder holding the hug just a little longer than she probably intended. It's weirdly comfortable, and it feels like all of the weight of our past has been lifted with this small gesture. I can't help but open my trap one more time.

"You keep me posted as well. You remain the most mysterious person I know, and I'm going to be dying in NY this summer not knowing where you've ended up. Have mercy on my selfish, nosey soul?" I pull away slightly and give her my most pitifully desperate face I can muster.

"Sure thing, Rach. You'll be the first to know as always." I swear I sense sarcasm in her wink, but I let myself believe her anyhow.

"Thanks, Quinn." And with that we separate, stare at each other for the briefest of seconds and she's walking to her car. She turns around with one last wave, and she's gone. I don't know if or when I'll be seeing her again, but if I don't it won't be my fault. I fully intend on keeping my word to stay in touch with her. I can't fight the gravitational pull of my catalyst and she knows it.

New York will be very interesting.


	3. Chapter 3

**A week and a half later…**

I've been in New York for exactly three days, two nights and 6 hours. I kissed my parents goodbye yesterday, met my annoying roommate the day before that, and broke up with Finn the day before that. We both cried, but we realized it was time to move on. We promised to keep in touch and remain friends. Who knows if we'll stick to that plan…I'm not placing any bets. He never really has been the 'keep in touch' type.

I've thought of Quinn at least once an hour in every day I've gone without seeing her and I'm at my boiling point. I'm too curious to NOT know where she's going to school and it's slowly driving me more insane than others claim I already am.

New York is…busy. I haven't ventured too far off campus as I'm frightened beyond belief, but I'll get out there soon. Yeah…soon. I'm sitting in yet another orientation…this one is about the fall program decisions or something, and it's nothing I haven't thoroughly researched before. So naturally, it's about that time I drift to my thoughts of Quinn. I'm sick of not knowing.

_Hey Quinn! I'm sitting through yet another riveting orientation session. It really is overly informative, and that's coming from ME. Anyhoo…Have you decided where you'll be attending?_

Another hour goes by as I check my phone for a response at least once every other minute. Seriously?! This girl…

_Quinn? This is your number right? Hello?_

And another 30 minutes with no reply. The lecturer is finally closing and it's not until I'm walking out the door back towards the dorms that I feel my phone buzz.

**Yes, Rachel it's me. Impatient much? Sorry for the delay, but I was preoccupied with something. I DID pick a school…4 days ago actually.**

_Well?_

**I'm doing fine thanks, how are you?**

_Oh please, Quinn. You know I'm on pins and needles waiting to know where you'll be…out with it!_

**Sorry, but can we talk later? I just saw someone I really want to talk to and I'd rather have this conversation with you in person.**

_What_?! She can type that, but she can't spell out a few letters to tell me where she'll be? This girl… I'm pulled from my angry attempt to reply by someone lightly tapping on my shoulder. I spin in all annoyance to greet the offender only to be completely shocked.

"Quinn?" I fall backwards in my stupor and she catches me before I completely lose my balance.

"Jeez Rach, we have to stop meeting like this."

"Well you stop scaring the crap out of me and we'll see how it goes! What are you doing here anyway?"

"And hello to you too, Ms. Berry." She gives me the most smart ass curtsey possible and it's all I have in me to not turn and walk away or scream at the girl. I'm already in a bad mood with her text attitude and if it weren't for my undying curiosity I might actually be able to walk away. Curiosity wins as always…

"Oh brother…Hello Quinn. What, may I ask brings you to my campus on this beautiful summer day?" I cross my arms over my chest, raise an eyebrow and await my answer.

She crosses her arms in what is surely a mockery of me, and just simply…smiles. "It's not just _your _campus this summer anymore, Berry."

"Well of course not. There are hundreds of other students here and…wait…what?" She's looking at me in disbelief now and begging me to get there faster with her eyes. "You? Here? Are you serious?! EEE!" I let out a squeak of excitement and immediately jump into her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. She didn't have time to untangle her arms from in front of her, so she just stands there for a moment. I didn't even hesitate, so right now I'm just glad she didn't have time to react and step away.

It's when I start to apologize and pull away that I get a reaction from her. Instead of letting me back away she unfolds her arms and grabs me by the waist to pull me into a real hug. She slides her hands from my waste to the small of my back slowly until she finally wraps her arms around my torso.

I can feel that her hands reach all the way around to my sides again, and I can feel her gripping at my shirt a little tighter with each second. It's like we're old friends who haven't seen each other in years yet it's only been just over a week. She then speaks lightly into my ear, "You know…I knew you'd react in one of two ways, and I'm really glad you chose this one."

At that I begin to pull away from the hug and reach for one of her hands to lead her to a bench that rests along the walk way. As I lead her to sit down I let go of her hand with my reply. "Of course I'm excited! Tell me everything. I have a feeling you've been hiding under your cloak of mystery _just_ to torture me."

We both rest one arm on the back of the bench and face each other. She looks at me like she's scared I might actually be angry with her and she quietly starts her explanation. "Well…that's not _exactly_ what I was doing. I really just wanted to surprise you."

I can't help but smile at her shy honesty. I don't know when or how it happened, but somewhere along the line we actually became comfortable with one another. Maybe we just wore out the awkward tension and this is all that's left.

"Well don't you think you're special?!" I gently nudge her arm and ask, "Well, when did you get here?"

"Yesterday actually. I called the director of admission for the piano program at Julliard last week and told them I was having second thoughts. Basically everything I told you before. He was actually incredibly understanding and appreciative of my calling him and talking to him personally instead of just not showing up. He remembered me right away and told me that he wished I'd reconsider, but he encouraged me to follow my heart. I told him I wasn't ready to choose and he is actually the one that referred me to the dramatic writing summer program they have here. He called a colleague and secured me a spot a few days ago."

I let my free hand rest on her knee as I'm honestly floored, and a tad jealous of her talent. "Oh my God, Quinn. That's…that's unbelievable." I see her eyes drop to my hand on her knee and I remove it to start fidgeting with my necklace instead.

"I know right?! I never imagined that reaction. He told me that he knew I'd breeze through the summer piano program at his school and that I deserved to see what else was out there. He didn't want me there simply because I had already agreed to attend. They don't offer a summer writing program there, so…" She throws her hands out in a "here I am" pose.

I can't help the stupidly happy grin that is plastered on my face.

"So you're officially an NYU student for the summer?"

"Actually I'm a Tisch student for the summer."

"Well this is just entirely unexpected…" My face must be starting to falter because her eyebrows suddenly show worry.

"This is okay, right Rachel? I mean if it's too weird and you need your space I totally get it and I can make myself scarce. I never meant to step on your…"

"Oh don't be ridiculous. Where is that confident bitch I used to know, huh?" Her face turns from worry to slight amusement at that. "Of course this is okay. It's not like we're competing or anything. If that were the case I'd have to kill you. What dorm are you staying in?"

"Well since I was such a late addition to the program I missed the deadline for room & board applications. My mom was here with me yesterday and we found an off campus apartment. It's more than a few blocks away, but it'll do for now."

Well now I'm doubly jealous of her talent _and_ her apartment.

"It'll do for now? Are you kidding me? You have no idea how lucky you are to have a place of your own. My roommate is unbearably conceited and thinks she has more talent than the entire school combined." Quinn just raises that stupid eyebrow and looks at me with an evil smirk. "What?" I ask with mild annoyance.

"Oh nothing…just…you'll fit in very well at this school I think."

With that little comment she actually has the nerve to let out a light chuckle. I stare at her in disbelief for a few seconds to join in on the laughter. Who am I kidding? I will fit in here perfectly. Probably kill a few people in my head while I'm at it. After our giggles die down I ask her if she has any lunch plans, and just like that my friendship with Quinn Fabray is turning into something we both can actually enjoy.

**Late August**

Throughout the summer we were both too busy with our respective programs to hang out regularly. I saw her on campus almost daily and couldn't help but admire what a beautiful young woman she had turned into…stylistically speaking of course. I always find myself taking note of her outfits. "College Quinn" tends to stick to form fitting jeans rolled up to mid-calf to accommodate the summer heat and shirts ranging from T's to button ups. She is effortlessly trendy and wears everything with an uncaring grace. It's like she doesn't even try and still looks better than anyone else on campus. She's kept her hair short and messy and wears natural style makeup. Some days I don't even think she's wearing any at all, but she's still beautiful. Her style is so unkempt, but she looks perfect.

Yeah, so I might be girl crushing on Quinn Fabray. I'm hardly the first to do so. Last week I was in the University Center with some of my classmates when Quinn walked passed us to go in to the bookstore. She saw me and gave a smile and a wave, but nothing more. One of the two girls I was with, Caroline is her name, said something along the lines of, "I'm not gay, but she could probably convince me that I am for a night." The other girl, Terri, simply laughed while I questioned Caroline.

"Who? Quinn? Good luck with that one." I tried to maintain an indifferent tone, and prayed that it covered the surge of jealousy that went through me at the mere thought of anyone else admiring Quinn.

I went on to explain that we knew each other from high school and gave a very brief summary of our friendship. I didn't in any way hint that we were anything more than old acquaintances. I know that Quinn and I are on our way to a real friendship, but I still don't think anyone else would be able to understand how we could be. I'm not even sure I could explain it if I'm being honest.

After our lunch date on that first day of summer orientation we texted regularly, we studied at her apartment on the weekends and saw a bit of New York when neither of us was busy. I guess it was the end of June when we started to get lost in our own worlds. By the end of July we were barely even texting. I tried to invite her out with friends or initiate more lunch dates, but she just never seemed interested. I'm not one to be turned down repeatedly anymore, so I just stopped all together.

My best guess is that Quinn is going through some kind of adjustment period. I know she's still unsure of where she'll end up for the fall semester and she's having trouble handling all of her options. I just assume she needed time as always, so I gave her the space she seemed to want. She'll find me when she wants to talk. She always has before.

That brings us to today. It's the last day of the summer semester and I just gave my all in our summer showcase. I didn't have the lead, but I did manage to snag a solo in one of the musical numbers. For once I wasn't the star, but was satisfied with being able to shine even a little amongst so many talented people. Maybe I _am_ growing up. The theatre has cleared for the evening, but I can't help but hang back and just soak it in one more time before fall classes begin. I'm sitting on a picnic table prop we used when I hear the backstage door open. I already know who it is without turning around.

I hear footsteps approaching me but I don't let her get all the way to me before greeting her. "Hello, Quinn."

She comes to an abrupt stop and says, "How'd you know?"

I turn to face her with my most proud smirk and reply, "Who else would stalk me long enough to find me alone in a dark theatre?" She looks very amused as she takes the remaining steps to sit beside me on the picnic table, both of our feet swinging back and forth. We occasionally kick each other's feet playfully for a few minutes before she speaks again.

"You were great, you know."

"Duh."

"Don't get too cocky, Berry. If you were that good you would have scored the lead."

"Hey!" And with that I punch her lightly in the arm. "I'll have you know that the competition for this showcase was intense and I am MORE than satisfied with the role I was given. I don't need the spotlight on me 24/7 to know that I have tal…why are you looking at me like that?" In the middle of my rant I had turned to her and she was looking at me with what looked to be…I don't know…adoration?

"Rach, I was kidding. You know I could actually tell how proud you were to be in the role you were. Back in Lima I could practically smell the bitterness in your acting every time you didn't get the lead in anything. I'm proud of you." She kept the same look of adoration and even grabbed my hand with a light squeeze and then let go just like that. She set her hand down on the picnic table in between where we were sitting.

"Thanks." I take my hand she was just holding, set it atop hers with my palm on the back of her hand and force my fingers to be laced with hers. She looks at me startled for the briefest of seconds and then lets my fingers lace with hers with ease. We sit like this for a little while just staring off into the dimly lit theatre when I muster up the courage to say, "I've missed you."

"Me too." She immediately withdraws her hand, gets up off of the picnic table and starts pacing the stage in front of me. "About that, Rach…look…I'm sorry I haven't returned your messages or been around much, but school has been super busy and I haven't had a lot of time to…"

"Oh shut up, Fabray." She comes to an abrupt halt in her pacing and glares at me before slowly approaching where I'm sitting. She comes to a stop at what looks to be an inch from where my legs are hanging off of the table.

"Excuse me, _Berry_?" I don't miss the purposeful way she uses my last name. I take on the challenge and return her glare with my own version of one.

"Oh please, Quinn. We both know why you haven't been around much."

She crosses her arms across her chest, raises an eyebrow and says, "Oh really?! Out with it then…I'd love to hear your version, because I honestly don't know why I'm being the way that I am…" The intensity of her original tone falters and she shifts her arms into a position of hugging herself.

"I'm sorry, Quinn. I didn't mean to upset you, but I thought we both just knew why you drifted away a bit." I don't really get a reaction from her so I just politely continue. "Look, I know you have a big decision coming up and I just thought you needed some time to figure it out without me badgering you on the subject every other hour. I thought you needed space, so I just gave it to you."

She just stands there unmoving for what seems like forever, and I'm honestly too curious to do anything that might scare her off. She finally looks me in the eye and I see tears forming in hers. She gives me a half smile and says softly, "What happened to you, Rachel?"

I throw her a confused look and reply, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Two years ago you would have hunted me down relentlessly demanding an explanation. Weirdly enough I _wanted_ you to hunt me down and demand an explanation."

"Quinn, two years ago you wouldn't have wanted anything to do with me."

Both regret and hurt flash across her face before she all but yells, "That's not true."

"Whatever. The past is the past. Okay, so you've been wanting for me to chase you down and find out what's been haunting you, but I'm not the type to come begging anymore. What you want and what you need are two very different things and I was only giving you what I thought you needed."

"Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

It's only now that I realize that she's still standing immediately in front of me and the fronts of her thighs are now occasionally touch my knee caps whenever she slightly shifts her position. She's still looking at me intensely, but it's turned into genuine caring curiosity.

"Every time I try to talk about the past, you change the subject. I've tried to apologize, and you don't really let me. I want to talk about it."

"There's really nothing to talk about. We both did horrible things to one another, and we both regret it. I honestly don't know if there's anything left to say."

"Don't you want to know why?"

I shrug my shoulders and say, "Why what?"

"Don't you want to know why I treated you that way?"

"I really don't see what any of this has to do with why you've been mostly avoiding me all summer."

"There you go again…"

"WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, QUINN?" My raised voice sends her back a few feet. She honestly looks a bit scared. I'm not certain why I always divert away from the past, but I think most of it has to do with wanting to just put it all behind me. I'm tired of fighting with Quinn and I just want to get past all of these stupid talks we find ourselves having. It's now or maybe never so I dare her with, "You know why I do it, Quinn."

She does know. She knows that the past is just that…the past. I know that she just wants me to forgive her for it all so she can forgive me for everything I've done in retaliation. She's never openly dealt with any of her issues, and I've been hard pressed to make her not do it in front of me…mostly out of fear that she'll just blame me for it all anyway.

"Let me ask you this, Quinn. Do _you_ know why you treated me like that before you even knew me?"

She recovers the few steps she took back after I shouted and reclaims her place right in front of me. She looks at me first with fear and then with more seriousness than I've seen from her ever and gives me one word that I REALLY didn't see coming.

"Yes."

"Just as I thought…wait…what?"

"I should go." She's turning to walk away and I jump off of the table run to jump in her path and face her.

"No you can't just leave like that. I never wanted to talk about our past because I honestly didn't think you knew why you did it all in the first place. I thought it might be because you were too ashamed to be seen with someone as unpopular as I was so you just scared me off. I knew I intrigued you, but you just didn't want to be seen with me. So now that you've admitted that you _know_ why you were such a bitch, out with it. You want to talk about the past, talk about the past."

"No you're right. Let's just move on." She tries to move past me again, but I'm a quick little thing.

"No, Quinn. Tell me."

She looks down to her feet shamefully and says, "You honestly don't know why?"

She still has her arms wrapped around herself in a hug so I rest one hand on her arms and take the other to lightly lift her chin to look in my eyes. "Its okay, Quinn. I'm not mad, or even upset. Just _talk_ to me."

"How do you do that Rach? How do you just completely knock _every _wall I've spent my entire life putting up? ", She pulls away from me and starts pacing again. "You want to know why? I'll tell you." She stops to face me again with a look of desperation. A look that signifies that if she doesn't get this out now, then she might never get it out. "I did it for the simple reason that you let me. You took every insult, every idiotic slushy, every verbal beat down, the pictures, the ignoring…you just took it. You were _so _much stronger than I ever was in high school. Don't think that I never knew you were the spectacular person that you are. I just knew that if I didn't push you as far away as possible, you'd make me question everything about myself. Somehow you managed to do it anyway."

"Finn…"

"Yeah, Finn. Things changed then, didn't they? I tried to be this perfect person. The cheerleader, the beauty queen, the prettiest girl in school and my boyfriend didn't really want anything to do with me. He wanted _you_. I hate to trivialize this down to a boy, but it's not even really about him. It's you. You never tried to be anything other than who you wanted yourself to be, and I hated that I couldn't do that. We truly are opposites you know. Everything I did to you was out of pure jealousy."

"It could have been _so_ different, Quinn. It never had to be like that!"

"Are you kidding? Of course it did. It was high school. My parents were like the king and queen of conservatives and I needed to be everything that they asked of me."

"It got too hard, didn't it? That's why you went to Puck that night…"

"I guess so."

"Come here", and then I pull her in to a hug and she just cries. She sobs in to the side of my neck for a while before finally pulling away and wiping her own tears from her eyes.

"And you were always there, Rachel…every time. I didn't understand you until after that first day back senior year. You just keep coming after me. I finally realized that it wasn't that you wanted anything from me. You just wanted to know me." She pauses for a bit…"You ever get freaked out when you look up to find me looking back at you? Do you like…feel my eyes on you?"

"Yes." We finally find ourselves in amused giggles again. "I always ask myself, "how does she always know when I'm looking?!""

"I ask the same thing, Rach…only with a slight bitter annoyance."

"Hey, I resent that!" …"You know, all I ever wanted in high school was for people to just let me be me."

"And I hated that I couldn't be the same way. After Beth I had the chance to have that, but I was just way too lost to realize that everyone already had accepted me. And then my mom came around, and I had real friends and it all finally came together. That's why I was finally able to have a civil conversation with you. I finally got to be whoever I wanted to be without caring what anyone said about it."

"You know you're the one person who made me question who I thought I was."

"What? Rachel Berry actually had self doubts?"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous." I take her by the hand and lead her back to the table so we can sit down.

"I've never questioned who I am, Quinn. Make no mistake in that. But you did make me question some of my decisions. I learned so much from you over the years. It's what you said in your graduation speech, but deeper. You're that one person who seems to be on this earth to make me question the things that no one else thinks to. And for some reason, I listen to you. Just like when I look at you, you're always looking back. When I'm wishing you were here, you seem to find me. When I need a direction to go, you seem to either scream or push me into one. You're just…Quinn."

"Yeah…"

"Yeah…"

"You want to get out of here?"

"I'd love to, but unfortunately I'm supposed to meet up with my dads for dinner in a little while."

"Oh, well maybe we can get together tomorrow then?"

"Why don't you come with me to dinner?"

"Whoa, Rach. I don't know if your dads would be okay with…"

"You actually think my dads don't know exactly what I think of you? They're actually more intrigued by our friendship than I think either of us can imagine, and I know they'd love to finally sit down and talk to you. C'mon…If I love you, they'll love you."

I think we both trip over ourselves a bit after that little slip, but we both recover nicely as if I said nothing at all.

It's not until we're outside of the auditorium and walking along the street that I remember she must have come to find me for a reason. I stop in my tracks and after she notices I'm no longer at her side she stops, turns around and faces me. I must have _some_ look on my face, because she's looking at me with two parts curiosity and one part worry.

"Rach, are you okay?"

"Wha?" I shake myself of my thoughts and ask, "Why did you come to find me today?"

She looks taken aback by the sudden question at first but quickly realizes the urgency of my curiosity. "Oh yeah!" She pauses long enough to throw a shy smile my way and then she starts rocking back and forth on her feet with what can only be pure excitement.

"Well?"

"I picked a school."

My eyes open wider than they ever had in excitement for even the chance she is staying at Tisch. I must look completely ridiculous because her grin grows even wider before she tucks her lower lip under her teeth, looks down slightly ducking her head. She's either trying not to laugh at me, or she's actually nervous about telling me. I can't take this little awkward moment anymore so I jump, squeal like a little girl and grab her hands as I reform back to high school Rachel for just a moment.

"Out without, you!"

And then she just looks back up and into my eyes, raising her eye brows in a way that tells me she can't believe I haven't already guessed.

"You're staying at Tisch, aren't you?"

She doesn't even have a chance to answer before I drop her hands and wrap my arms around her shoulders in a hug. She does that thing where she slides her hands around my waist to make sure I feel every bit of her returned hug, and then she just wraps me up tighter than she ever has before. We both loosen our hold after a few seconds and I grab her hand to tug her along by my side.

"Come on. I can't wait to tell my dads about this."

And just like that I knew we'd be okay for now. I hadn't forgot that she never really got the chance to explain why she had basically avoided me for nearly two months, but with the smile plastered on both of our faces as we laugh and talk about the upcoming semester, I don't really care right now. We've got time.

Dinner with my fathers went better than I could have hoped. They all got along famously after Quinn's initial hesitancy to laugh at their jokes wore off. She even threw in a few of her own. Both of my dads seemed utterly too amused by me and Quinn as we recounted some of our high school memories. It was almost as if they knew there was something special here too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sometime in Fall Semester Freshman Year**

"Rach, c'mon let's go! We're going to be late!" Quinn barks as she walks through my dorm room just as I'm shouldering my messenger bag.

"Calm down, you. I'm ready…antsy much?" I throw her a sarcastic look of annoyance before I join her at her side and we make our way to our first class of the day. "We have 15 minutes before class starts. I think we'll be fine. Tell me since when am _I_ the patient one?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just a little jumpy today."

We may be enrolled in different programs at Tisch, but we tried to schedule as many core classes together as we could. She beat me to the suggestion actually. All in all we managed to schedule three of our classes together. Sometimes we hang out and study in my room or in the commons area, but most of our time is spent at her apartment. I can't thank her late admittance enough, because her having her own place to go to has been amazing for me. Anytime spent away from my roommate is a good thing, and Quinn and I might actually be beginning to enjoy one another's company.

We seem to have grown out of our "we can only talk if it's something huge" phase, and now we're mostly just good friends. I wish I could say that we're best friends, but for some reason Quinn is still too guarded. Even now as we're walking to class side by side I can tell something is bothering her. Her brow is wrinkled, her eyes are slightly swollen from what I guess to be lack of sleep, and she's raking her hand through her messy hair in frustration. I'll ask her what's wrong, but she'll just shrug it off as nothing.

"Hey, Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

She doesn't even look back at me as she answers. Her focus is just on getting to class. She won't look at me even a little.

"Is everything alright?"

"What? Yeah…of course. I'm just tired and want to get to class."

"Okay."

I would have thought that through all of our admissions and moments together that she would trust in me by now. She always gets so close to opening up, but then something always just closes her up and sends her back into hiding. It's early November now, and our time spent together has been limited to studying. We've both got our own friends that we hang out with, but it'd be nice if we could do something unrelated to school together. I haven't tried in a while…maybe now is good.

"Quinn…do you maybe want to catch a show together this weekend? Or dinner or something?"

She finally looks down at me as we reach our row of the lecture hall. She doesn't say anything at first and just turns to lead the way to our seats. She takes her seat, sets her bag on the floor and looks at me again. She looks to her bag again and begins pulling out her notes when she finally says something back.

"Well…I don't know. You don't already have plans?"

"Well of course not. I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't free."

"Oh. Well I have a lot of studying to catch up on, so I don't know. We can just order take out again and just hang at my place."

"Quinn…we _always_ study. Why don't we go and do something _fun_. We never do anything but study together."

"I didn't realize that was a problem." Suddenly her features grow a little cooler and I can already hear her walls of defense reassembling. Before I get a chance to respond, the professor walks in and gets the class started. I just throw a quick whisper Quinn's way.

"It's not a problem Quinn. Let's just talk about it later."

"Fine."

Class seems to crawl by slower than usual. I can't really focus on anything the professor might be saying, but if I have any questions I'll just ask Quinn. I've been stealing glances at her every other second and she seems to have focus on the lesson and the lesson alone. She doesn't take her eyes off of the board, notes or the professor for the entire hour and 15 minutes we're here. Why does she have to be so damn difficult? Would it kill her to just look at me with those eyes and give me that once every blue moon smile I've grown to cherish?

As class comes to an end she puts all of her notes away and I follow suit. As I stand and get ready to head out I notice she's not following. I turn back around and notice she's still sitting in her chair staring at the board. Instead of asking her what she's doing, I just make my way back to my seat and quietly sit with her. Our next class is in an hour. Let's hope this doesn't take too long.

We sit in the quiet for a good 5 minutes. I've curled my legs up underneath me and turned to face her with my elbow resting on the back of my chair and my head resting in my hand as I look at her. Her response to my change in position is to lean forward with elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. I'm debating on just walking away when she starts mumbling.

"I'm sorry, Rach."

"It's fine."

She sits up straight suddenly and looks at me pointedly. If our relationship were anything like it was in high school I'd think she was about to slap me.

"No it's not. I snapped at you and I'm sorry. I'm just really stressed out and I'm taking it out on you."

"Why?"

"Because you're here?" Her expression softens in a way that looks as though she's asking permission for something. Now I'm just confused and worried, and my face must say just that because she just looks down at her hands resting in her lap.

"Quinn, are you ashamed to be my friend?"

She quickly looks back and me and immediately says, "NO!"

I lift my head off my hand and let out frustrated sigh. "Then why don't we ever go anywhere?"

"What do you mean? We go to the coffee shop all the time." She answers assuring.

"You know what I mean, Quinn. I love studying with you and just hanging out at your place, but why don't we ever do anything other than that? I'm not blaming you or anything, but I'm also not the one freaking out at the mere suggestion of such a thing."

"You just caught me on a bad day. I didn't mean to freak out on you."

"Do you want to talk about it?" And then she does her Quinn thing. She lets out an exasperated sigh, turns her head back to the board and slacks back into her chair. I can easily tell that the last thing she wants to do is talk right now, and I can even seeing her eyeing the exit.

"You don't have to say anything, but just know that I'm here if you do." I mimic her with a light sigh of my own and copy her seated position so we're both facing the front of the classroom now.

"I know you're here, Rach. I always know you're here." She pauses as she starts wringing her hands in her lap. "I haven't been sleeping…like at all. Every time I close my eyes I just see something I don't want to and I can't shake it."

"Like what?" I turn to look at her now even though she's still fixated on the room in front of her. If she's about to open up to me, I don't want to miss it if she chooses to look at me while doing so. She doesn't turn to me though.

"I'll start out with one of the _easy_ ones and say Beth. I know it's mostly because a part of me misses her like crazy. But the other half of it is me worrying if she'll grow up thinking I never loved her."

"This is one of the easy ones?!"

She just lets out a soft laugh and says, "Yeah." Even from her side profile I can see her eye brows raise in her own disbelief. She doesn't elaborate, so I fill the silence.

"You know, even though my situation with my own mother is so different from yours with Beth, I can assure you that you don't need to worry. Beth will grow up knowing that you only did what you had to do to give her the best life she could possibly have. Shelby will make sure she knows that. If you were as selfish as you probably think you are, then you would have kept her. You did the right thing. She'll know that."

I can see a slight nod in her acceptance of what I said and she lets out a quiet, "Thanks."

"We can talk about her whenever you want to, okay? I'll always listen."

"I know you will."

We're both quiet for a few minutes. Time is ticking away and we don't have much time before our next class. I'm thinking that we're done here for now when she speaks up again.

"Can I tell you something without you flipping out or laughing at me?"

"Of course."

"Promise me."

"Okay, fine…I promise not to flip or laugh."

"I like studying with you."

"Why in the world would I laugh at that?"

She finally looks at me and says, "You haven't heard why yet." I just give her an inquiring look to encourage her further. "For more than a few reasons I like studying with you. First, I like it when you're quiet."

I let out a loud huff, "Watch it Fabray, or I'll…"

"Are you going to let me finish?" I gesture with my hand for her to continue. "I was kidding with that. Kind of. I like studying with you because I like the concentrated silence of all of it. It's the time when I focus on everything but my own life and I like to do that as often as possible. Everything else just shuts off in my head and it's nice. "

"Okay that I can understand. But you go out with other people, so why not me?"

"Here's where you might do the flipping. I don't hang out with other people."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I mean I have people that I know and talk to, but you're the only one I actually hang out with on a regular basis. I'm the very definition of a homebody."

"So every time you turn down an invitation to go do something, you lie and just sit at home by yourself?"

"I don't think I've ever _lied_ to you, but yes I'm usually alone."

"You always tell me you're too busy…or sometimes you just don't respond at all. Last month I invited you out to a club with friends and you didn't even return my call."

"I don't really do clubs."

"Still…why do you just tell me that you don't want to go out? I'd like to just hang out sometimes too, you know."

And she turns away again…great.

"I don't know, okay Rachel? It's usually just because I don't want to hurt your feelings if you take it personally. I guess that and maybe…I'm…maybe I'm not ready to just go hang out with you and your friends yet."

I reach across the arm rest and take one of her hands into mine to get her full attention and make sure she listens to me. By the looks of it, it seems to be working.

"Quinn…we don't have to hang out with everyone else. We can do something just the two of us. But can I ask why you don't want to hang out with them?"

"Would you believe me if my answer was possessive jealousy?" She inquires with a smirk.

I don't believe her, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to. The Idea of Quinn Fabray being possessive or jealous over time spent with me is just something I never saw happening. She's always been the mysterious untouchable type. She _is_ smirking, so I allow myself to flirt with the idea that it might be true. She's obsessed over people before, but…no. She must be deflecting.

"Please, Quinn. I know you better than that."

"Do you really?" And the eyebrow goes up, the smirk fades to a look of genuine curiosity and she looks away again. I thought I was getting to know her…judging from this conversation I'm only getting started.

"I guess we're working on that, aren't we?"

"Yeah. I'm comfortable with you. When it's just the two of us quietly doing our work or casually talking…it's nice. I don't want to ruin it."

"Quinn, a night out is hardly going to put that at risk. We're doing something fun this weekend whether you like it or not. Just the two of us. Now…we're late for our next class." She looks down at her watch just as I had and jumps from her seat.

"Shit! Sorry…yeah let's go."

As we rush to our next class and quietly take two seats in the back I can't help but think about her. After all this time she might finally be opening up about the things that make her so difficult. She said Beth was one of the easy things. I can't begin to imagine what else she's had to deal with. She might even tell me one day.

And that weekend we did do something fun. It was our first outing together since the start of summer. It was simple and just the two of us, but the dinner and movie were perfect. No deep meaningful conversations were had, but we had some good laughs talking about everyone from high school. I learned that for a short time during freshman year that she dated Karofsky. She laughed as she told me that he was the only guy that she ever dated that actually refused to touch her. Knowing what we know about him now sheds new light on that situation.

There was an awkward moment in the conversation when she brought up her time with Finn. My face must have given me away, because she said a few short sentences and changed the subject. The weird thing is that I wasn't jealous. Not even a little bit. I don't know why I got so uncomfortable with her talking about Finn or anyone else for that matter. Maybe it was because I was threatened by the thought of someone knowing her better than I do.

It was a little after midnight when the movie let out and before I knew it we're already at her apartment building. The theatre was only a few short blocks from her apartment, so I figured I'd drop her off and head back to the dorms. That plan was assembled before I knew we'd be out until midnight and I realized a little too late that I'd be making the trek back to campus alone. Good thinking Berry. Quinn must have been having the same thoughts because it took her all of two seconds to invite me to stay the night at her apartment. Quinn Fabray…invited me to sleep over. If only Sophomore Faberry could see us now.

So that brings me to the present. I'm currently lying in Quinn's bed counting the specs in the ceiling. I'm feeling too many things at this moment. I feel incredibly stupid, but the girl that I wanted to be in high school is lying only a few inches from me. From what I can tell she must be fascinated by the ceiling's imperfections as well. I can only take silence for so long…

"Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you awake?"

"Really? Was my "hmm" not enough assurance for you?"

"Well I was only checking…jeez, nevermind."

"Oh quit it will you? I hear your breathing and actually feel you looking at me every other minute. How am I supposed to sleep?"

" Sorry. I'll try to be quiet."

"I'm kidding with you, Rachel. I can't really sleep either."

"Want to talk about it?" I inquire shyly.

"So…you disturb me, and now you want _me_ to talk about _myself_?"

She's in a cranky mood I guess so I'll just ignore and ask her stuff anyway.

"Whatever…when did you start cheerleading?"

"What?"

"Cheerleading…how'd you start?"

"Umm…I guess I was thrown into tumbling class as a toddler. I did that all the way until junior high and then quit when I uh…became unmotivated."

I sense the hesitation in her tone, so I turn on to my side to face her to urge her on. She just keeps staring up at the ceiling like its providing her all the answers.

"I gained some weight and went through my awkward phase with a bang. Finally after I was tired of my dad's endless berating and disapproval I decided to make a change. I started running. Every time he'd claim I was anything less than what he expected me to be, I just ran."

I can tell that all of this is hard for her to talk about even now. She rakes one of her hands through her hair and exhales quite loudly. I don't know what it was like growing up in her house. My home was so comforting and easy. I got to be whoever I wanted to be and my parents loved me all the same. All Quinn has ever wanted is for someone to love her, and it seems as though she didn't even have that as a child. She just keeps breathing roughly and I can tell she's fighting back tears. We both seem to be content that I'm just listening for now. Shakily yet gaining some confidence back she continues.

"So I lost the weight, started tumbling again and when we moved I tried out for the squad. Coach Sylvester was skeptical at first…she knew something was off about me. It's like she could smell the insecurity in me."

"You must have been pretty good though. To make Captain as a sophomore is pretty much unheard of."

"Pfft…sure."

"What? It's incredible, Quinn."

"It would be if it weren't all a lie." She says shamefully.

"What do you mean?"

"It was my dad's doing. He wouldn't dare settle for anything less than perfection, so he first threatened to out Coach, and then paid her off as a security measure. New uniforms, renovated locker room…everything new that year was thanks to dear old dad. Of course the school board just saw it as a friendly donation to McKinley. No one knows the truth about it except for Sue and my dad. He never thought I'd find out, but I overheard a conversation between the two of them."

At this point I'm just trying to keep my mouth closed. Firstly, my gaping expression of shock probably wouldn't be very comforting for Quinn right now. Secondly, I'm afraid I'll say something offensive about her father. He really is a despicable parent. I can't even fathom my fathers not believing in me enough to let me go my own way.

"I've never told any of this to anyone before…"

"Really? Not even Santana?"

She quickly turns to me and I can see the glimmer from the tears on her cheeks. "Are you kidding me? That is the last thing I'd want Santana to know. She would have had me ruined…even more than I was already."

"I thought you were close…"

"Santana and I were only friends when it was convenient for either of us. We ran in the same circles so it was just expected. I don't think we were ever really friends because we wanted to be."

"I'm so sorry…" She's openly sobbing now.

"I crashed so hard that year. What my dad did to me…it ruined me for so long. I had zero confidence to start with so I tore down anyone that had even a little. You know that much. I couldn't take it anymore. Puck was the obvious choice because he was charming and I knew he'd tell me what I wanted to hear. I hated myself, so I didn't care what happened to me after that. When you truly hate yourself, you hate everyone else around you and cease to care about anything."

I had a vague idea of what her home life was like, but I never dreamed a parent could make their child hate themselves.

"Is your dad one of the things that you see when you close your eyes at night?"

She waits a few seconds before slowly turning back to the ceiling and nodding ever so slightly. Her crying has come to a halt for now, but the moonlight casts perfectly to make the tear stains on her cheeks shine. This girl has been through so much, and I honestly don't think she has ever talked to anyone about it before.

"When was the last time you spoke to him?"

"The last time I saw or heard from my father was the night he threw me out of the house."

"Do you talk to your mom about him?"

"Never. He hurt her bad enough…she doesn't need to hear about the additional pain he caused me. She's finally in a good place and I don't want to hurt her."

"But she's your mom, Quinn. Surely she could make you feel better."

"I'm just not ready."

I don't dare push any further than that. She roles on to her side facing away from me and I'm guessing that this conversation is over for now. I want to comfort her because I can still hear her crying and feel the bed shake with her sobs. Before I know it my hand reaches to rub her back comfortingly. Soon it turns into light scratches and her crying begins to quiet. I don't even stop when her breathing finally evens out after she falls asleep. I don't think I stopped until my own unconsciousness forced me to.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello to all of you that have been kind enough to take an interest in my little world. I appreciate all of your kind words very much, so thank you for that. **

**Spring Semester**

Sleepovers became a regular occurrence after that first night. Sometimes I fall asleep on the couch and Quinn leaves me there in what I assume to be an attempt to not disturb me. Other times…times when she needs me she wakes me up to go to her room with her. Sometimes we talk and I sooth her to sleep just as I had on that first night. Some nights we're too tired and we both pass out instantly.

It's been months since that night and I've learned more about Quinn than I could have ever even thought of knowing. I tell her about my parents all the time and she always seems genuinely interested. I almost feel guilty talking about my childhood, because it was wonderful. Though we faced adversity as a family, we loved one another unconditionally and were incredibly happy. She doesn't seem to mind hearing about it…maybe it even makes her feel better.

In our talks I learn that Quinn hasn't had sex since that time with Puck and she hasn't dated anyone since her last round with Finn. We were at lunch one day when I told her about my first time with Finn and how he was indeed like a sweaty sack of potatoes. She nearly choked on her food at the revelation and quietly asked if I wouldn't talk about him anymore.

We've become virtually inseparable. We only have one class together this semester, but somehow we see each other every day. We both even stayed in New York over the holidays and spent them together. Neither of us was able to go home since we're both so invested in our programs. She's double majoring in piano and dramatic writing, so her course load is relentless.

She has without a doubt become my best friend. I often find myself turning down my other friends in favor of Quinn because she is still apprehensive when it comes to hanging out in groups. My friends think she's just a bitch and doesn't like them, and the only argument I have is that she is incredibly private. I really don't mind turning them down though…Quinn has quickly grown to be my favorite person I know. We've both invested so much time in one another that we've virtually shut off the world outside of us. At least I know I have.

It's strange how we've come to know one another in such a short time. We've known each other for 4 years but it was only recently that we actually came to _learn_ one another. We do things for each other on instinct now. Just the other day I was in a rush to our class after a full day of rehearsing, and I hadn't had time to eat anything. I hadn't talked to Quinn at all and when I showed up to class she took me by complete charming surprise.

"_It's about time you show up." She says turning to me as I approach our usual seats. _

"_Sorry…rehearsal was intense today. We have a week before Spring Break and the director is completely insane. I didn't even get a chance to eat lunch."_

"_I figured as much…here." She reaches down by her bag and hands me a smoothie from our favorite café and one of my organic protein bars. I pretty much just stare at her blankly for bit before she shoves the food in my direction and says, "Rach…take it."_

"_How did you know?"_

"_It's Wednesday…the day when you have rehearsal all day and usually never get a chance to eat before class. You complained about it last week."_

"_Quinn…this…this is just…thank you. You're a life saver."_

"_It's no big deal. I just knew you'd be hungry."_

"_What kind of smoothie is it?"_

"_It's that green tea peach thing you always get."_

"_Oh thank God. And where'd you get the protein bar?"_

"_Oh…I was at the store yesterday and bought some to keep at the apartment. No biggie."_

No one can really blame me for smiling like an idiot as I replay the memory in my head. No friend has ever made such a simple yet meaningful gesture. I'm pulled away from my memory as a voice sounds from the doorway.

"What wouldn't I give to know what is putting that smile on your face…" she says.

I turn to face her as she is leaning against the door frame of the practice room I've been in for the last two hours. I smile at her shyly and cast my eyes down to the sheet music on the baby grand piano that separates us. She pushes into the room, shuts the door behind her and moves to sit on the piano bench.

"How'd you know where to find me?" I inquire.

"Oh you know…just a hunch. You've been here for hours. I don't think I've seen you practice like this since…well…ever."

"Quinn…_everyone_ one comes to this showcase. Scouts, directors, agents, managers… I need to be noticed."

"Well alright, but remember…you can't perform if you don't have a voice to perform with."

She props herself off of the piano and pulls my sheet music away and rests it on the stand in front of her. "Why don't we run through one song one more time with _real_ accompaniment and then go get some dinner?" I just nod in response and she says, "Here…this one."

She just starts playing the opening chords of "Send in the Clowns" and I don't even have a chance to tell her that piece was only for challenge and not one needing practice. Someone else had been given that song…not me. Though it's on the sad side, it's one of my favorite songs of all time. I think the way Quinn is playing it could possibly make it _the_ favorite. Time to shine Berry…

_Isn't it rich?  
>Are we a pair?<br>Me here at last on the ground,  
>You in mid-air.<br>Send in the clowns._

As I sing the next verse I close my eyes and just think of the irony of the lyrics and my current relationship with the girl playing the piano in front of me. All through our past we danced around in circles and she always seemed so unattainable. And now…she's here playing the piano for me, here for me and yet…something is still missing. I open my eyes as I reach a new verse and find Quinn with glossy eyes looking back at me.

_Just when I'd stopped opening doors,  
>Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,<br>Making my entrance again with my usual flair,  
>Sure of my lines,<br>No one is there._

There are always these unspoken moments between us. The moments that make us remember that that so much has happened between us. The way we're looking at each other as we duet, both on the brink of tears from either the sadness in the song or the confusion amongst us, is unsettling. We're so comfortable together, yet so…_not_. Some days I think we're on the same page and others I just don't know. And as the closing verse approaches our stare has intensified, a tear has made its way down her cheek and she gulps down the breath I'm sure she wants to release.

_Isn't it rich?  
>Isn't it queer,<br>Losing my timing this late  
>In my career?<br>And where are the clowns?  
>There ought to be clowns.<br>Well, maybe next year._

As the final chords play out from her finger tips she looks back down to the keys and I look to the floor for any answers of my own. We're both pulled out of our thoughts almost immediately as a scattered applause starts from just outside the now open door. A handsome young man I recognize from a few rehearsals is the first of the few people gathered outside the practice room to speak up.

"Ladies that was incredible! I hope you don't mind, but I heard you from next door and couldn't help myself. That was just beautiful. I'm Lucas…You're Rachel, right?"

I attempt to shake off the initial shock of intrusion and the nervousness coming from the moment Quinn and I just had. I look to her briefly and see that she's wiping her eyes and seemingly waiting for me to answer. I stutter a bit before I finally turn my attention to Lucas.

"Umm…yeah. Thank you for the kind words…we didn't realize we had an audience."

"Music will do that to you, won't it? You two are amazing together…how long have you been preparing that piece?"

"Actually…this was our first time. This is my friend Quinn," I gesture towards her and she barely lifts the corner of her mouth in a smile as I continue. "She's a piano major and was kind enough to help me out."

"Oh. Wow. Well you were fantastic…will you two be performing that in the showcase next week?"

It's Quinn who answers this time. "Oh God no…she is the performer. I'm better left for the shadows." I roll my eyes at her self-deprecation and let out a light chuckle when Lucas speaks up again.

"Are you kidding? With a face like that? You should be in the spotlight."

My head moves before I can help it as I shoot daggers with my eyes at Lucas. I don't like how he's looking at her…not even a little. Quinn just lets out a quick snort in what looks to be disbelief and returns her eyes to the piano keys. She seems to be over this guy too, so I speak for the both of us.

"Right…thanks again for the praise, but we were just about to head to dinner so…"

"Hey…I was just about to meet some friends as well. Why don't you two join me? I'd love to talk to you both more."

"Actually, Rachel I just remembered that I have a test in the morning I need to study for so I'm just going to head home." Quinn starts to get up and goes to grab her bag and heads for the door when I stop her with a hand on her shoulder. We both pause for an instant, but she turns her eyes to me anyway.

"Quinn, just let me get my things together and I'll go study with you okay?"

I know very well that she has no test tomorrow and she knows that I know. She seems determined to get the hell out of here though. If she just felt what I did while singing that song I know she's freaking out even more so than I am. This Lucas idiot seems nice enough, but he ruined a pretty important moment and now Quinn is ready to bail.

"No, Rach. You go on…I'll talk to you later."

"Okay…" And just like that she's gone. I hear the clearing of a throat and am quickly reminded that Lucas is still here.

"So, Rach…dinner?" He raises an eyebrow and offers me a hand. His eyebrow is stupid and his hand is annoying. I hate him calling me "Rach". Still I gather my belongings and let him lead me out of the practice hall. Hey…maybe he's over 21. I haven't had a drink in a long while, but if there were ever a time…now is probably it.

Just when I thought things between Quinn and I were finally evening out, _this_ happens. It's like the lyrics of the songs were mocking us. We both know that our relationship is complicated and goes beyond the measurable bounds of a normal friendship, but I think we're only both beginning to realize just how deep it all goes. Maybe we _are_ just a couple of fools, and maybe we'll figure it out eventually.

That night I learned two things. Lucas Humphries was not 21, he was 23 and he was the graduate student assistant to the drama department. He spent most of the night asking about Quinn and the only thing that got me through the night was the wine he bought with dinner. Being friends with this guy meant well for my career here, but I did not like the way he talked about my best friend.

**A week later…**

It's the night of showcase and I'm just putting the last touches on my make up in my dorm room. Things between me and Quinn returned to "normal" the day after our duet and we're both doing a fabulous job of pretending nothing happened in the first place. I'm kind of testing the waters right now though because Quinn is on her way here and I have kind of a huge request for her. The light tapping on the door frame lets me know she's here.

"Hey Rachel, you ready to go?"

"Yeah…just a few more minutes. Hey, come in here for a second please?" She moves into the room and sits on the edge of the bed so that I can see her through the mirror.

"What's up?"

"So I kind of have a favor to ask."

"Shocking…what is it this time?"

"Quinn Fabray…I hardly ever ask you for anything. I can't very well help it if you just enjoy doing things for me." I catch her eye in the reflection of my mirror and I know things are okay between us because she just chuckles.

"Yeah yeah…what can I do for you?" I whirl around to face her and in shock she sits straight up immediately, her eyes quickly moving from where the reflection of my…chest would have been in the mirror. I smirk in mild confusion.

"Okay well…you remember that song we sang the other day?" She nods curiously, so I continue. "Good, well what would you think about performing it with me tonight?"

"I…I…I thought someone else was singing that song?" She shifts uncomfortably on the bed before diverting her eyes to anything but me.

"Well, they _were_. This afternoon Lucas called and said that he wants me to do it instead."

"Well…you have pianists in your department…get one of them to accompany you. I haven't even played it since that day."

"Quinn…I know you were playing from memory, so just stop…and also…he might have mentioned that he wants _us_ to do it instead." She finally looks at me again and then just sighs and lets her shoulders drop.

"Rachel…this is kind of sudden. "

"I know Quinn, but I only just found out and I really want to do this."

Despite the awkward tension surrounding our last performance, we were terrific. If I'm going to get noticed tonight…_this_ is my best shot. Something in the back of my mind tells me that this about more than my future career, but I ignore it. I need Quinn to do this for me. I know she's used to performing for an audience by now. I've been to her recitals…she performs flawlessly and makes it look like she isn't even trying. I know she's capable.

"Fine." She mutters uneasily.

"REALLY?! Thank you thank you thank you!" I ignore her displeased tone and tackle her onto the bed. I push up quickly and stare down at her. She laughs off the compromising position we're in, puts her hands on my shoulders and quickly flips us around so that she is on top. She pins me down and blinks once…no twice…make that three times before she says anything.

"Just remember…you'll owe me big time." She winks and pushes up and away from me and heads for the door. With her back to me she says, "Now come on…don't want to be late now."

I sit up on my bed and breathe for a second before following after her. We make it to the auditorium and Lucas informs us both that our act will be the closing number of the show. The showcase is meant to show off all of the top students from our musical theatre group. We auditioned for the opportunity to do so and with the addition of my song with Quinn, I'll be singing twice. One ensemble number just has me singing a few solo spots. The competition of my fellow classmates is fierce and I feel incredibly honored to be given the opportunities that I have been. To sing the closing number as a freshman is almost unheard of, and while I feel it has mostly to do with Quinn, I really don't care. This moment is mine…ours really and I'll soak in every last bit of it.

The ensemble number went off without a hitch and now Quinn and I are waiting backstage before our performance. We're standing side by side and through my peripheral I can see that Quinn is nervous. She's wringing her hands together, so to help ease the tension I just reach out and grab her hand to hold in mine.

"Thank you so much, Quinn. This means the world to me." I see her nod a few times before she looks at me with some confusion.

"Lucas asked me out."

"Wait…what? When?"

"While you were performing…I said yes."

"Why?" She couldn't have seemed more uninterested to him the night we met him…this is shocking to say the least and why is she telling me this now. It's not like I'd care…her face falters to a look of confused pain.

"I don't know…he seems nice. And…he asked."

"Well…I'm glad he asked then. We're on." I push passed the people coming off the stage trying to hide whatever it is that I'm feeling. I honestly don't know if I'm jealous or hurt or what. I just want to sing and go home.

"Rach…"

I can hear her whisper my name intently, but I press on to center stage. I can hear her footsteps as she approaches the piano and takes her seat. The MC introduces us and after the applause dies Quinn begins the intro beautifully as always.

I open the first verse facing the audience with Quinn slightly behind me to my right and try to fight back the tears that I can't seem to prevent from threatening. Never has it been easier to throw all of my emotions into a performance as it is now. This was meant to be easy…to know what to expect and perform with perfection and now I'm riddled with strife from the news Quinn just gave me. I should be happy…I shouldn't care. I can't help it. I take a risk as I breathe before the next verse and turn towards Quinn and chance a look. All I see is her staring back at me with concern. I sing the next verse staring back at her.

_Isn't it bliss?  
>Don't you approve?<br>One who keeps tearing around,  
>One who can't move.<br>Where are the clowns?  
>Send in the clowns.<em>

Somehow halfway through that she started seamlessly harmonizing with me. Not in a way to drown me out, but the perfect compliment as she only sang every other line. I walk to the piano to face her more directly as we make our way through the song. We approach the next verse and she looks away and I sing the next lines with more conviction to get her eyes back to mine.

_Don't you love farce?  
>My fault I fear.<br>I thought that you'd want what I want.  
>Sorry, my dear.<br>But where are the clowns?  
>Quick, send in the clowns.<br>Don't bother, they're here._

She stops singing along and I can feel her eyes on me as I make my way back to the microphone through the closing verse. Before I turned away from her I saw tears in her eyes again and I could feel the sting of salty wetness in my own. As she plays out the final chords the applause erupts enthusiastically and we're both pulled from our haze. She makes her way to my side and we take a bow. The applause continues and some loud cheering is thrown in the soundtrack. It dies out slowly before the MC comes out to thank everyone for coming. Quinn and I are both still standing center stage when Lucas comes running out with his praise.

"Ladies…That was even better than the first time I heard it! Have you been practicing?"

"No…I only told Quinn about this before the show."

"Well that makes it even more incredible. Come on! We're going out to celebrate. Both of you." He steps forward to grab Quinn's hand.

"Actually, Lucas I…" Quinn chimes in.

"Nuh uh…not this time, love. You're coming with us." And just like that he has Quinn's hand in his and they're walking out of the theatre.

Lucas steals our opportunity to talk once again as I follow after the both of them. At the bar Quinn and I are seated across from one another…she next to Lucas and me next to Caroline who I haven't hung out with since summer. How romantic. The drinks are steadily flowing and soon I can't even remember why things got awkward in the first place.

Quinn and I don't talk about "Send in the Clowns" ever again.


	6. Chapter 6

**A Week Later…**

Quinn and I haven't spent a Friday night apart since before Christmas and it's now Late April. Some might be concerned with the amount of time we spend together, but we both _seemed_ content. I've grown accustomed to spending my weekends with her so it came to a shock to me when she didn't even answer my calls today. Even now I'm knocking on her door to no answer. I take out the key she had made for me and open the door to an empty apartment.

Now…I know I've grown up a lot over the last year, but one thing that will never change is the immediate panic that sets in the moment something changes. This isn't like Quinn…she knows I'd be expecting to see her. She didn't even text. Obviously the only reaction is for me to worry. I quickly dial her number again and I hear the faint sound of a ringtone coming from her bedroom. I feel slight relief, but when I get to her room I see her phone on her nightstand. Great.

I give up and as I'm making my way down the stairs out the front door of her building I hear the sound of Quinn laughing. I immediately look up excitedly, but see her hand in hand with Lucas laughing over what I'm sure to be one of his 'awesome' jokes. The excitement is gone. Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she call? It's Friday…and she didn't even think to tell me _anything_…

I turn in the opposite direction to just walk away before I start crying, but her voice stops me.

"Rachel?" She asks with a tone of confusion. I know better than to talk to her right now, but I humor her and turn around anyway.

"Hello, Quinn. Lucas." I nod with a smile at him and he does the same, only his is laced with a hint of confusion. It's really all I can do to keep from running away, but I stand there and throw on the biggest smile I've got.

"What are you doing here?" Quinn asks. I want to laugh at her face and maybe stomp on her toes or slap her, but I kindly act my way through this with grace and maturity. That is what I do.

"Well Quinn…when you didn't answer your phone, I simply grew concerned. I was worried something may have happened, so I came here to find _this_ on your nightstand." I hand her back her phone I took with me in case she or anyone else called.

"Oh, thanks. I forgot it here when I left this morning."

"Clearly." I respond indifferently as I can. "Now if you two will excuse me, I'll be heading home now." I turn to walk away from them, but I'm stopped by a heavy hand on my shoulder.

"Wait, Rach…why don't you join me and Quinn for some coffee upstairs?"

I huff in the shock and annoyance of such a suggestion and look at Quinn. She's got her hands in her pockets and is just looking at the ground.

"Thanks Luke, but I really should be getting home before it gets too late. I'll see you both later. Have a nice night." I look at her again before walking away and she finally looks back at me, and I can see that she knows I'm hurt. When I get to the corner I turn and run as fast as I can back to my room.

It's not even an hour later when there's a knock on my door. You've got to love this whole friendly intuition thing. "Come in, Quinn."

She pushes through the door and looks to Ashley's side of the room first before asking, "Where's Ashley?"

"She went home for the weekend."

"Oh." She just leans against the door for a moment as I continue reading my book, trying hard to exude apathy. "I'm sorry about today." She finally says.

"I know you are." I still don't take my eyes away from my book.

"Are you even going to look at me? Or is that book just _that_ interesting?"

Alright…so much for indifference. Passive aggression never has really been my forte. "Why didn't you tell me you were dating him? Why didn't you tell me you were busy tonight? It's Friday and we always hang out on Fridays. Hell you haven't even talked to anyone else all year and now you're _dating_ someone? And you really didn't even think to tell me, your best friend, that you might have other plans tonight?" Midway through my rant I sat up in bed, leaving the book and daring Quinn for a response.

"I didn't realize I needed your approval to go out with someone." She just crosses her arms and puts on a stubborn expression. Clearly she was fishing for a simple apology and quick forgiveness. Yeah. That's not happening, so I shove off of the bed and mirror her stance a few feet away.

"Oh, Shut up Quinn. You know this has nothing to do with my approval. I'm your best fucking friend and you went rogue on the day that we never fail to spend together and I'm not supposed to worry? And you've been dating a guy that I know you don't even like and didn't think to tell your best friend. This has nothing to do with approval. This is about you and me. I just thought we were better friends is all. Joke's on me I guess." I turn away from her and make my way to sit on the edge of the bed with my hands raking through my hair.

"We're not dating." I look up to her in an instant and notice the frustration in her eyes. She looks so conflicted about something, and she won't clue me in. We've unraveled so much of her past, but we've conveniently ignored the new dynamic that has settled between us recently.

"You could have fooled me."

"I'm not dating him." She makes her way over to my bed and takes her seat beside me. "He found me in the practice hall today and all but forced me to go to dinner with him. You know him…he can be insistent. I really did forget my phone and I couldn't find you at all today."

"Why didn't you make him go away when you found me at your apartment?"

"Rachel…I'm here now, isn't that what matters?"

"I don't know…it hurt, Quinn. A lot. You should have found a way to get in contact with me. I was so worried. And then I saw you with him…laughing and it just made me so mad. And then you let me walk away!"

"What was I supposed to do? I didn't want to be rude to the guy…he is nice."

I look at her with pain in my eyes and say, "And what? It's okay to completely stomp on your best friend to make sure this guy doesn't get his feelings hurt? It never changes…everyone always just expects me to forgive _so_ easily."

And now she looks completely ashamed of herself. I get up from the bed and start pacing the space in front of her slowly. I don't want her to freak out and hate herself again. She doesn't say anything so I do when I stop in front of her.

"Quinn, I don't know if I told you before, but this year has been amazing. You have easily become my favorite person in this world, and I was worried. I overreact…it's what I do and I'm sorry for that."

She doesn't say anything at first and she pauses twice, no three times now before reluctantly saying, "No you're right, Rachel. I shouldn't have put him first like that. I should have made sure I told you about Lucas and I should have put you first. I just get…you're my favorite person too."

I wonder what she was going to say but brush it off. "So what? You push me away before I have the chance?"

"Well when you put it that way…maybe?" And at the admission she looks at me with vulnerability in her eyes. I've broken down several walls of the Fortress of Quinn, and I think I'm chiseling away at another.

"Well stop, okay? The moment you think I'm getting too close…just…pull me closer. I'm not going anywhere, and I don't expect anything from you but respect. I know this is weird sometimes…like we don't know what we're doing, but I do know that I have no idea what I'd do without you here. You've become somewhat…essential."

She looks up at me from the bed and just seems utterly terrified. She's quiet as her eyes move from mine to the door and I can tell she's plotting her escape. I've scared her and now she feels trapped. Damn it. She moves to stand up from the bed and I stop her by her shoulders and push her back down.

"No, you're not running away."

"I wasn't running away." The fear turns to irritation now as she goes to stand again and I shove her back down.

"Bull-shit…you just tried it again."

"Excuse me, but I was just trying to get up and get a bottle of water." She moves again and I let her this time and she goes straight to the mini fridge.

She brushes past me and I can't help but egg her on. "You know that might be believable if your eyes weren't glued to the door just now." She stops and whirls around and the look on her face is priceless. Probably in shock from a deadly combination of the amount of attention I pay to her and my willingness to call her out on…well…anything.

"Whatever." And she continues her way to the fridge.

"If you want to leave, then you should. I'm not sorry for admitting that you're incredibly important to me." She stops a little more gracefully this time, slowly turns and makes to lean against the fridge.

"Do you not think you're important to me?" The look she's throwing me now is one of a dare. Almost as if she is challenging me to question her friendship.

"Honestly?" I ask her hesitantly. And she nods for me to continue. "I don't think you know what I am to you, or what you even want me to be to you." Her emotionless expression is unwavering and it grows harder by the second. She doesn't look like she's going to say anything so I intrude with another question that's been bugging me. I try to convey indifference when I ask, "Are you going to see him again?"

She finally moves in the form of shaking her head slightly in disbelief of the frivolous question. She looks at me kindly and asks, "Why does it matter?"

"I'm just curious if I'm going to be blown off frequently in the future so I can make other plans if need be."

She still looks kind and concerned and says, "Rachel…I said I was sorr…"

"Nevermind…forget I asked…it's stupid." I shake my head and turn to go back to the bed. I give up.

"Do you like him?" She asks, and somehow Quinn had made her way back in front of my seated position on the bed without me noticing. She proceeds to sit cross legged on the floor directly in front of me. Her arms are resting on her knees .

"What?" I slightly shake my head, "Of course not." I'm offended at the question actually.

"Then what's the big deal? Why are you so upset about this? I told you I was sorry about tonight and I promise it won't happen again."

"I'm not upset." I cross my arms indignantly.

"Rachel, please…what's this about?" I uncross my arms to run my fingers through my hair again. I can hear her sigh and then I feel one of her hands take one of mine and hold it in place upon my knee. "Talk to me…"

"I told you…you're important to me."

"Yes, but what does that have to do with me dating some stupid guy?" She tilts her head in a placating manner.

"You're going to just…forget about me." I look away in shame of this pitiful person I feel I've become…this person who depends on Quinn to make me happy…to make me feel needed. I gave up spending time with anyone else in order to get closer to this girl in front of me and now I feel as though it might all be for nothing. Maybe friendship isn't supposed to be like this. It was never this way with even Finn…with whom I was in love. Even we had our separate lives. Quinn and I have created a world where nothing but school exists apart from the two of us and now it's threatening to disappear over some douche bag who probably just wants to get laid.

With conviction, Quinn takes my chin with her free hand, points my eyes to hers and says, "You must be pretty stupid if you honestly think I could ever forget you. It was one date, Rach. It's going to stay that way."

"Why?" I ask before I can stop myself.

She takes her hand away from my chin and now she's running her hands through her hair. "You are so frustrating."

"Believe me, I know."

"Then why are you being this way?" Her voice is picking up volume now as she snaps at me. "Rachel, we do everything together…you can't do this every time I go do something with anyone else."

"And you can?" My voice is gaining confidence. _She_ is the one who didn't want to hang out with anyone…_she_ made me this way. She knows why I'm acting this way.

"What? What are you even talking about?" She stands up again and looks down at me. "I've never freaked out like this."

"HA! Are you freaking kidding me?!" I stand up and match her toe to toe. I begin cautiously, but gain confidence as the anger of the situation builds within me. "I seem to remember you going all Broody Betty at the mere _suggestion_ of going to do anything with me and my friends that I _used_ to have."

"And what it _that_ supposed to mean?" She takes a step forward and our toes are actually touching now.

Screw caution…I'm outright yelling now. "You know _exactly_ whatI mean, Quinn!" I can feel my own heart rate speeding up and judging by the pursed lips and heaving chest of Quinn, hers is as well. "I gave up everything and everyone for _you_!" She opens her mouth to I'm sure say that she didn't realize it was such a sacrifice, but I don't let her. "And don't get me wrong Quinn…I loved doing that. I loved every drop of attention I got from you and I craved more. I wanted it all. And now…in this moment I don't know why." I thrust my chin in the air and try to pretend that I meant that.

She's just staring at me now. We're both short on breath from the intensity of the conversation and I can actually see the emotions morphing on her face. Hurt…anger…sadness…and now the one I fear most…apathy. "I…I didn't mean it, Quinn."

She stiffens and says, "Forget it. I'm sorry I wasted your time." She doesn't waste any time in turning to head for the door.

I rush after her and just as she is turning the knob to open it I slam it shut. "NO! You don't just get to leave!"

"Fine." She turns to me with a look that I haven't seen since our sophomore year. "You sure you want to do this?" She raises an eyebrow and stares me down.

I've brought out a lot of emotions in Quinn, but I don't think I've ever hurt her. I honestly don't know what to expect. "Yes", I say because something is better than nothing.

She doesn't move, her expression doesn't falter and she brings out a tone reminiscent of the one she used when trying to make me feel my worst. "Don't for one second think that you were doing me any favors. If anything, I was helping _you_."

Oh sure…she's trying to make it seem as though I created this illusion of her needing me all in my head. She was taking pity on poor pitiful Berry with no friends. Not this time. I actually laugh before I speak. "Are you kidding me with this?"

Her expression falters a bit, but she squares up again. "No. You can't blame me for you creating this little fantasy of being my girlfriend or something. I don't need you and I nev…"

"You don't have to be so mean…" I interrupt her before she embarrasses herself with _that_ sentence. I lean my back against the door and cross my arms casually. Suddenly all of my anger is gone, because I know now why she's doing it. This is what she does to people. They get too close…she gets too close…someone gets hurt, and she pushes away. She's just breathing unsteadily and it looks like she doesn't know whether to scream or cry. I soften my voice, "Quinn…what I said…I was hurt and mad…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it." I should have known better. When Quinn gets hurt…she hurts back.

She closes her eyes for a few moments and casts her head to the floor. When she finally opens her eyes and looks at me again a tear falls from her right eye. She swallows her emotions and finally says, "I never _asked_ you to give up your friends."

I nod my head to encourage her recovery from Scary Quinn. "I know."

"Okay", she says softly. And then she does something I'm really not expecting and extends her hand in a way that asks for mine. "Come with me…I want to show you something."

"What?" Before I even get the chance to deny her request, she grabs my hand and pulls me along out of my room.

I start to ask where Quinn is taking me, but I soon recognize the familiar path to the practice hall. I'm afraid to say anything at this point so I just match her pace with my hand in hers as we walk. We make it to the hall in record time and she pulls me into the first practice room we find open. She lets go of my hand to close the door behind us and she makes her way to sit at the piano without so much as a glance in my direction.

"Quinn, what are we do…"

"Just shut up and listen. Please." She looks at me pleadingly and I nod in response. I just sit on the floor in the corner by the door and listen as she begins the intro of an unfamiliar jazz piece. As she continues to play I pull my legs into my chest, wrap my arms around them and rest my chin upon my knees. Quinn has never played_ for_ me before. We always practice separately and I can count on one hand the number of times I've even seen her with a piano.

But right now…I can probably understand why. She's just transformed into this creature that is feeling every sound that is created by her finger tips. She was always animated when she sang, but that was just a drop compared to the flood of emotions pouring through her right now. The song seems familiar, but I haven't a clue what it's called. I know Quinn likes the classics, and this is probably one of them.

She's had her eyes closed for most of her performance, but I haven't taken my eyes off of her. As if she can hear my thoughts she opens her eyes to look at me briefly before smiling and then looking back to the keys in front of her. I wonder how many songs she knows in her head, or how long it takes her to memorize a piece.

As she reaches the climax of each chorus, her expressions reach their peak as well. She feels every note, and suddenly I can see why every school was pulling strings to have the chance of her being their student. She's incredible and I can't control the happy tears that are slowly falling from my eyes. She's beautiful and the way she loves the instrument she just _owns_ right now makes her even more so.

She has so much soul. I knew she loved jazz, but this shows me just how much. As she finishes the song she just sits quietly staring at the empty place where her sheet music should be. I start to commend her performance but she interrupts when I start. "Quinn, that was…"

"Do you know why I brought you here?" She says without looking my direction.

"I…I…no, I guess I don't."

She lifts her hands in a way to put the piano on display and says, "_This_ is why I'm here." She lowers her hands to her lap. "_This_ is why I came to this stupid city. This is why I don't talk to anyone. This was supposed to be everything."

"The piano?" I ask dumbly.

She scoffs and says "Yes…but it's more than that. When I came here I didn't care about making friends or pleasing anyone but my professors. I came here to work hard and to soak in every ounce of knowledge I could. Being a double major at this school is hard enough. Twice the number of deadlines…I have to manage my schedule better than a lot of students here, so I didn't even think of anything but school when I agreed to attend."

"So I guess you really were doing me a favor by being my friend." I look down to the floor at my own revelation.

"No…you don't get it. You really did do me the favor because you reminded me that I'm human…and I needed that. I needed _you_…so much." I look up and see her staring back at me. "Rachel…when we sang that stupid song…it became_ too_ much. I realized just how much I had grown to depend on you and how much my mindset had altered, so when Lucas asked me out I saw an opportunity."

Ah…there it is. "Quinn, I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. I never wanted to chase you away."

"I know that. You know me though." We both laugh at the admission.

"Yeah, kind of." We pause for a moment and then I realize something. "You know…if you needed space, all you had to do was ask."

"Rachel, admitting that I needed space would have meant admitting a whole lot more."

"Well you're admitting it _now_…" I smirk knowingly. She smiles and looks down at the piano keys again. I hadn't even had the chance to ask until now, so I take the opportunity now. "Hey, Quinn?" She looks at me and I ask, "What _did_ Send in the Clowns mean to you?"

She doesn't answer, but she smiles and starts playing again. This time I recognize the song immediately. It's Dario Marianelli's "Dawn" from the opening of Pride and Prejudice. I know the song well as I used to make up my own lyrics as I got ready in the morning. I love the soundtrack recording but it's nothing compared to the way Quinn plays it.

She keeps the soft smile on her face as she maneuvers her way through the song. Her eyes close and it's as though she's watching the sunrise as she plays. Her smile shifts and now she seems to be soaking in the images she's seeing in her eyelids.

Who knows if she chose this song as symbolism, but I don't miss the convenience of "Dawn" fitting our current topic of conversation perfectly. Maybe our song meant the beginning of something else…of something new. And now this is how she's telling me. I could listen to her speak like this forever. And all too soon she's playing through the conclusion of the song.

"You're so beautiful." She looks my way, "_That_ was beautiful."

"Thank you."

"What was the song before that? The jazz one?"

"Umm…just an old song." She replies shyly.

"And the name?" I pry further.

""I got it Bad and That Ain't Good"…it's an old Duke Ellington song."

"I loved it. Why'd you play _that_ one?" I'm probably pushing her too far, but I don't really care. As long as she's in a sharing mood I'm going to milk it.

"Uhh…I guess it seemed fitting." We both smile and she moves from the piano to stand in front of me. She holds out her hands to help me up and I accept readily. Instead of just letting go once I'm standing, she pulls me into a hug. It's our first in a while, so I soak in as much as I can. My arms are around her waist this time and hers around my shoulders. Her face buries into the crook of my neck and I hear the soft murmur of an apology as it hums off of my skin.

I softly reply with an apology of my own, and then she pulls away. I'm tempted to keep her in my arms for a bit longer, but I resist the urge. She leads me back to the dorms by my hand and when we reach my room she follows me inside and shuts the door behind us. She's never spent the night in my room before, but it looks as though she might be getting comfortable as she removes her shoes. We haven't said anything since leaving the practice room mostly due to the fact that I think we're both too exhausted. Maybe she's too exhausted to walk home.

"I'm staying the night, okay?" Well she answered that question.

As I move to get into bed and under the covers I offer her Ashley's bed. "You can have Ashley's be…" And I'm interrupted by Quinn just moving towards my bed and sitting perpendicular to where I'm laying.

"I don't want to sleep in Ashley's bed if that's okay." She asks quietly.

"Okay", and I move over to make room for her. I lay on my side to face her, and she mirrors my position.

We just stare at each other for what seems like an awkwardly long amount of time until she kindly requests, "Roll over, please." I'm taken aback by the request and my first instinct is to think I've made her uncomfortable again and as if she knows my thoughts she continues with, "I want to show you something else." And in this moment I receive my first Quinn induced chills that aren't from fear.

I quickly comply and as soon as I'm facing the wall I can feel the light traces of Quinn's finger nails ghosting their way across my back. She draws random patterns much I like I usually do to comfort her.

_Oh_.

So this is what it feels like?

I don't have control over the chill bumps that rise across the span of my skin.

I don't have control of the tingles I'm feeling everywhere.

And when her finger nails dance their way from the hairline at the base of my neck all the way to the base of my spine, I certainly can't control the shiver that shocks its way through my entire body.

"Sorry" She whispers into my ear. It's as if she's inches away because the breath I feel from that single word sends another shiver straight to my core.

"Don't be." I say with a shaky tone. I can barely control anything right now. I just feel…_everything_. If this is what happens every time I scratch her back…no wonder she makes me join her in her room. She just keeps going and it feels so good. And now I'm being hit with an all new sensation as her fingers sneak their way under my t-shirt.

She must feel the bumps along my skin because she quietly asks, "Are you cold?" I swallow the moan that's begging to escape and shake my head instead. She just continues to trace the outlines of the few muscles she finds on my back. She's showing me a lot more than I ever did to her when our positions were reversed. I've never thought to or been brave enough to feel her skin…and now I'm mad at myself for not thinking of it first. I feel…I feel…I don't know what I feel.

I try to relax into Quinn's touch and bring both hands together to rest between my head and the pillow. I close my eyes and arch my back to give Quinn more surface area to explore. She catches on quick because I feel her fingers move from the middle of my back to the top of my shoulder. Then at a torturously slow pace, she moves the very tips of her fingers from my shoulder, over my ribcage and as she does so I feel the tip of her pinky graze the side of my breast.

"Mmmm." My eyes shoot open and Quinn pauses for a second before continuing all the way down my side and then back up over the space of my back. Yeah…Quinn just touched me _there_, and I moaned. Quinn just touched me _there_, I _moaned_ and she's _still_ touching me. What the? I don't know much of anything in this moment, but I do know that I do not want her to stop.

She is just setting off every sensation possible and I can feel myself warming up. What started out as an innocent way of comforting a friend has quickly become something I can only describe as _intimate_. _God_. Is this what she feels like every time I do this? God I hope so. Her touches feel like a poetic mixture of fire and ice on my skin. The sensations are reaching a territory few have traveled before, and as I shift slightly I feel exactly what said sensations are creating through the thin layer of fabric of my shorts _covering_ said territory.

Is this feeling what she is trying to show me? I really don't care what she is trying to show me right now, because I simply feel amazing. Quinn is making me feel amazing.

And the fingers reach my shoulder again. I'm silently praying they repeat their previous pattern from moments ago and they do not disappoint. I feel more of Quinn's pinky on my breast this time as she slows her pace when she reaches the side of my rib cage. This time instead of retreating to my back she reaches across my stomach and pulls me into her. She holds me there tightly and I can feel her breath on the back of my neck. I'm her little spoon.

What in the world has gotten in to Quinn Fabray? We'll probably have to think about it all tomorrow, but for now I just take my hand, place it over hers' and tighten the hold she has on me.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Next Morning…**

When I wake up in the morning I'm no longer in Quinn's hold. I roll over to find her on her back, one arm over her head, the other resting on her stomach, her mouth open and breathing loudly. I roll on to my side to face her and just watch. I think about last night, if it was a dream or if it actually happened. I don't know which one I'm wishing for. The things I was feeling…the things Quinn was making me feel…

And then there is the thought that if it was real, then that means I make Quinn feel that way too. Shit…if that's true then I completely understand her need to withdraw. And then I remember what I felt in my pajama shorts.

No wonder she gets so freaked out. Hell right just the sheer thought of it happening is making me have chills again and my first instinct is to freak out and take a cold shower. I can't feel this way with Quinn. Can I? I don't know what she is thinking, but she isn't running. She's just here…sleeping.

And now she's rubbing her eyes…oh crap…now she's turning to me. I'm staring and now she's looking at me. There's no time for me to divert and look away, and that's a good thing because she's smiling at me. I smile back.

"Hey." She says groggily.

"Hey."

She shifts on to her side to face me and asks, "You okay?"

I don't really know how to answer so I just shrug my shoulders. "Are you?"

"I think I will be. You sleep okay?"

"Mmhmm…very." And I really did. I was so comfortable in her arms and I don't remember moving until I first open my eyes this morning. "How about you?" She answers in the form of a cheeky grin and a slight nod.

We just kind of awkwardly smile and stare at each other for a few seconds when she chimes in with her next question. "Rach, are you staying in the dorms next year?"

I really hadn't even thought about it. I guess I just assumed that I would. I'm staying here through the summer and I just imagined I would keep my dorm through the next school year as well. "I don't know," I say.

"Would you consider moving in with me?" she asks.

"What?" No really…what? She has a one bedroom…we cuddled…does she want to…what?

She interrupts my internal panic with, "We could start looking for two bedrooms today, I mean. We spend so much time together…it makes no sense paying for two places or going back and forth. It could be fun."

It really does sound practical. I actually feel stupid for not thinking of it sooner. We'll have a two bedroom with two beds and two separate spaces in the same place. Yes…"Yes." I say out loud.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It'll be great." And how could it not be? Last night was just a fluke and I was overcome with the emotions of the day. That's it. We'll spend our summer together, find an apartment and it'll be very best friend like.

"Perfect. Now let's get up and start looking." She rolls out of bed and that's when I notice she was only wearing a pair of boy-short briefs with her t-shirt. Good god…the chills rack through my body again as I watch her pull on her jeans. I feel like a teenage pervert as I lick my bottom lip to prevent the drool from running down my chin. What in the world has gotten in to _me_?

Quinn is focused on finding an apartment and all I can think about is how she was sleeping in her underwear…holding me. Friends can do that…right?

Get a grip, Berry. I shake off the perv and get up to get ready to go apartment hunting apparently. Quinn is bubbly and gets ready quickly leaving me uncharacteristically lagging behind. I don't even know if I should talk to her about last night, and if it means risking the mood she's in right now I don't think I want to. Apartments…focus on apartments.

And focus on apartments we did. We found a real estate agent who looked up some listings for us and was available to show us some places over the weekend. We didn't fall in love with any place that weekend and we agreed to keep looking over the coming weeks. We had finals to prepare for so our time was limited.

Quinn didn't pull away after that night in my bed, but instead it seemed as though she was just inching closer. Preparing for finals meant spending even more time together. I don't know if Quinn was still seeing Lucas, but if she was then I don't know when she had time. We spent every possible moment together that week and during study breaks we'd look at some of the apartment listings our agent sent us. Quinn was calm and collected about this roommate idea while I was constantly trying to suppress the easily over-excited side of my personality.

Quinn has had a lot more time to process everything surrounding our relationship, and it shows. She seems to have reached a conclusion in her head and she's accepted the now closer than ever dynamic between the two of us. I still shiver at the thought of where her fingers had been on Friday night, and I'm not even ashamed to admit that I'm excited over the fact that it might happen again.

Maybe this whole roommate plan is an idea to keep us in the same place without being in the same room. I shake myself of the over-analytical thoughts and just appreciate the fact that I'll have a roommate that I actually like for the next year.

We're at the coffee shop right now as I sit and think about the revolutionary week we've had. On Tuesday afternoon she found me in the practice hall rehearsing a song for my vocals final. She quietly entered the room, sat on the floor leaning against the wall and pulled out her books to study. I smiled at her as she looked up; she smiled back and then casually returned to her studies. Once I was done practicing I just joined on the floor to get some studying in myself. We'd chat casually and then after we got tired we'd go our separate ways.

On Wednesday afternoon I found _her_ in a practice room, but as I entered a look of surprise flashed across her face. She missed a note and I could see her grow uneasy. I shot her an apologetic look and gestured to the door to show her I could just leave, but she just shook her head and then slightly nodded to encourage me back into the room. I took my spot on the floor and Quinn didn't miss another note. It was probably a mistake going to listen to her while I studied, because the only thing I retained was what Quinn looked like as she played.

Thursday was a repeat of Tuesday, but instead of studying when I finished rehearsing, I took Quinn out for dinner. We mostly used our time to pick out a few apartments that we wanted to visit over the weekend, and we found a few places that looked promising. That night ended the same as the two before with me reluctantly parting with her well into the evening.

A big part of me always wanted Quinn to invite me to stay over. That night a week ago in my bed she seemed so eager to show me what it felt like to be "comforted" and she hasn't shown even the slightest recognition that the event even occurred. This is what she does though. Big moments happen and then she leaves me wondering if anything occurred in the first place. Was it all a dream? I fall asleep each night pondering that very question.

And here we are a week later, sitting across the table from each other with our noses buried in our books. I look up every so often to sneak a glimpse of what Quinn might be reading and as I go for my third peak I catch _her_ watching _me_. I idly wonder how many times she's looked my way, but just smile to her and myself as we both return to studying.

It's getting close to dinner time now and as I wonder what we're going to do this evening Quinn interrupts my thoughts. "Hey, Rach?"

I finish the sentence I was writing and look up to acknowledge her.

She asks, "Do you want to get out of here? I bought stuff to cook dinner and rented some movies. Do you want to come over?"

Perfect. I nod and say, "Sounds great."

As I'm packing my bag I steal a glance at Quinn doing the same and catch her quickly looking away from my direction.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks as her eyes are focused on her bag.

I must look like an idiot when she meets my eyes again.

"Uhh…I'm not entirely sure." I answer with a dumfounded smile of utter cluelessness.

She lets a tight-lipped smile stretch across her face as she continues packing up her stuff. It's almost as if she knows something I don't. She even has the nerve to let out a shy chuckle.

"What are _you_ thinking about over _there_, huh?" I toss a crumpled piece of paper at her with my question.

She looks up at that with the smile gone and nothing but a seriously calm expression, deadpans at me and simply says, "You." with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

All I can do is pray that the blush on my cheeks and the shiver that wracked my spine weren't noticeable as I quickly gathered my things. "Let's go…I'm hungry."

It's weird…the things that happen to me when a single syllable is uttered from the mouth of Quinn Fabray. After all of these years I can't imagine how I'm supposed to get used to it. I don't even know that getting used to it is a viable option considering it's her.

The walk to her apartment and the dinner that soon followed shortly after went by without much attention; just a few shy glances and some pointless small talk. Now we find ourselves simply sitting on opposite ends of the couch watching whatever movie she picked out. I haven't really been able to concentrate on anything since our moment earlier. I'm not even sure I'm looking at the TV anymore. I hear the faint sound of Quinn clearing her throat and snap out of it. I turn to her and find that she has a somewhat…tired expression I suppose.

"Rach, are you tired?"

"A bit…maybe it's time for me to head home."

"Oh…I guess…I guess I thought you'd just stay here." She mentions quietly.

"I'm not entirely sure that's a good idea."

"Why's that?"

I give her a pointed look to prove that I'm very well aware she_ knows _why. She has the nerve to raise an eyebrow in return.

"I just…I have to get an early start in the morning."

"I'll set the alarm."

"I wouldn't want to disturb you."

"I wouldn't care if you did." She deadpans.

I swallow thickly at that. What game does she think she's playing here? She's just staring at me now. Her eyebrow doesn't move, and her lips don't budge.

"Well…I would. I really should be going." I'm up and off the couch before she is able to answer as I gather my things. I'm reaching for the door handle when a soft hand wraps around my wrist.

"Please?"

I barely hear it, and I'm not sure if it's because I'm afraid to listen or because she's afraid to say it loud enough. I turn to her then and her eyes are one level of dilation away from begging. I let out a sigh of surrender and just nod my head enough for her to see it.

God knows I want to share her bed with her again, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to. It's just easier to let her decide, and as I try to make my way over to the couch she pulls me back. I could swear that an almost devilish smirk is on her lips as she turns to lead us to her bedroom.

"I don't have my toothbrush," I say as we enter her room.

"I bought you one a week ago."

"I don't have my pajamas," I plead as she makes her way to her closet.

"That's okay." She turns to look at me with that.

I choke on my own dignity as I swallow whatever ounce of it I had left. I open and close my mouth a few times before she throws me a t-shirt and some shorts.

"Oh…thanks." I try to pretend that I knew all along that she'd have some for me. She grabs her own and heads into her bathroom. I change quickly so I can be in bed and under the covers before she returns. Oh right…my teeth.

She walks back into the room and mutters, "All yours."

I sputter and cough a bit until I realize she meant the bathroom.

When I come back to the room I find Quinn sitting up in bed with a book. I'm trying to remain as calm as possible so I simply head to my side of the bed without an ounce of effort. Surely she didn't notice the fact that I nearly tripped over my own shoe. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be nervous around Quinn without looking like I'm nervous. I don't even know why this is so hard to begin with. I shake my head and I can't help but laugh at myself. I wanted this, and now…I'm here in disbelief of it being a reality. I never thought about what I'd do when I was here again.

"You know, I used to be pretty good at guessing what you were thinking about at any given moment."

I jerk my head up at her as I try to settle under the covers. She didn't even lift her eyes from her book as she said it. I don't say anything in hope that she'll elaborate. She seems to release an uneasy breath as she sets her book atop the nightstand.

She looks at me before continuing with, "And now I'm afraid of knowing and also hoping that I'm guessing right."

"I'm not sure what you mean by that." I reply as I rest my head in my hand that is propped up by my elbow in an effort to face her.

"Can we just not talk tonight?"

"Okay…" I only pray the fear isn't audible.

She stares at me for bit before burying herself under the covers and nodding in a way that suggests I should turn and face the other direction. I don't let myself hesitate to comply.

I can feel her shift closer and then slight pull of my t-shirt as she slides her hand under it and around to rest at my stomach. I'm not to blame for the shaky breath I exhale as I try to remember what breathing is. I only wish that I could feel an ounce of the confidence that she seems to have with this. She's just tracing lazy circles across my hipbone like she was always meant to while I'm trying not to suffocate from holding my own breath. Let shaky exhalation number two be heard.

Did she just chuckle? I feel the bed shake a little and yeah…she actually chuckled. I'll be damned if I let her believe she can toy with me. I swiftly turn myself around so quickly that she doesn't have time to retract her hand. The convenience of its previous placement allows it to be placed nicely on the side of my ass now that I'm facing her. I seem to have the shock value now as she looks utterly stunned.

I can feel her try to remove her hand, but I'm faster than her and just place mine on top of hers. Out of decency I move them to a more appropriate location before I start this conversation.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"I thought we agreed not to talk?" she replies.

"You're laughing at me."

"I'm laughing at us."

"Why?"

She laughs a bit more and says, "Because I have not a clue as to what the fuck I am doing."

Neither one of us reacts immediately after that. Our eyes are locked on for a moment before I find the strength to move her hand to my lower back and under my shirt. I release her hand and place my own in the same position on her back. I don't know if it's a way of saying follow my lead, but it feels like it as I trace my way just under the waistband of her shorts and she does the same to mine. It isn't until I close my eyes and release a sigh that we break eye contact.

"Can you just…" I felt her hand at my hip again and she seems content with pushing me so that I'm lying flat on my back. I'm ashamed to at admit that I was close to having a handful of her ass cheek before she made me roll over.

She doesn't stop her hand though. She goes back to tracing around my hip bones before becoming brave enough to approach my rib cage. In an attempt to relax I take one of my hands and rest it behind my head while the other draws circles on the bed sheet. This is normal, right?

It's impossible not to notice when her fingers climb higher and higher as they count my ribs. I feel her middle finger glide up my sternum as her thumb and pinky brush against the inside of my cleavage. I probably should be wearing a bra considering what happened last time, but then again no, I shouldn't. She just keeps repeating this. Up and down my sternum as if she's trying not to touch something she really wants to. Her strokes become firmer each time she passes. Before I can even think I reach in with the hand that was previously tracing circles on the sheets and guide her hand over my breast.

I don't know why I did that. I shouldn't have done it. I didn't know what I was doing.

She's completely still now. There is nothing but the sounds of our ragged breaths as we both try our hardest not to panic. I'm afraid to look at her but I turn to her anyway. She's staring at me and I have no clue what her face is saying.

"I…" I try to speak words.

And then she surprises me by lightly grazing her entire hand back to my sternum before moving to the other breast. All I could do was throw my head back and suck in my lower lip to stifle the moan that neither of us was ready for.

She repeats this for a while; back and forth. I'm not certain how I'm supposed to _not_ squirm or try to hump something in this moment. This is not very best friend like.

She moves to the left breast one last time before she stops completely. I can hear both of us trying to breathe without being heard by the other. She moves her hand down slightly and it's like her index finger _just _noticed that my nipple was excited, because she stops and applies the slightest bit of pressure.

I really can't help myself from reacting and the noise I make is not decipherable. No…this is not normal.

"I…I have to go to the bathroom." I try to do so gracefully, but her hand gets caught in my shirt as I get up and it falls lazily back to the mattress and I stumble a bit.

"Rachel, I'm so…"

"I just…I just have to pee." I dismissively wave my hand about and laugh lightly. I know I'm not kidding either of us.

I close the bathroom door and just grip the sink for dear life. I'm just staring at myself in the mirror in disbelief. That was…Quinn was just…I'm getting aroused again. Shit. What am I doing? I'm not sure how much time has passed, but it must be too much because there is a soft knock on the door.

"Rach? Are you okay?"

I whisk open the door without thinking, throw on my best show face and practically scream, "I'm fine." I'm sure the idiot grin plastered across my face appears normal to her too.

"You sure about that?" she smirks.

I clear my throat and bring my voice back to a normal volume. "I'm good. Too good maybe." I realize what I've said and look at her surprised and she's just smiling.

"I really should go home, Quinn. We shouldn't be…I mean…this is…I should go."

"Is that what you really want?" she asks as she leans against the wall behind her and starts picking at her fingernails.

"I don't know, honestly."

"This doesn't have to be confusing, Rach. Its college…kids experiment or something." She actually rolls her eyes and waves a hand about nonchalantly.

"Is that what this is? I'm an experiment?" There really was too much bite in that question, because I think we're both aware it's not an experiment. However, this seems like as good of an opportunity as any to storm off and avoid this situation. I move out of the bathroom doorway in a huff and make to collect my stuff so I can just find somewhere to breathe. I can practically feel her follow me.

"Rach, wait. Where are you going?" She says panicked.

"Home. I'm going home because I don't exactly feel like being one of Quinn Fabray's little experiments."

"Then don't just be an experiment!"

I stop my movement and just relax my shoulders with a huff. I don't have the courage to turn around and face her so I just stand there and shake my head at myself. I feel her hand reach for my shoulder and I shrug it off before I even realize how it might hurt us both.

"Fine. If this is what you want, then just go."

I don't want to go. I didn't even want to get out of the bed. Apparently my body doesn't know that, because before I'm even aware I'm out the door and in a cab. I never even turned around to face her.

I tried to avoid thinking about anything even remotely related to Quinn for 2 days. Naturally that meant all I thought about was the light touch as her fingers danced across the entirety of my chest. I thought about how aroused a simple gesture could make me. I thought of the tears that were probably in her eyes when moments later I was storming out of her apartment. I thought of the tears I cried all the way back to my dorm. I thought of how neither of us has made any effort to even find the other. I thought of how much I wanted what was happening and I still can't figure out why I stopped it. I thought of how quickly a fragile situation can turn into something entirely unrecognizable.

It's been 2 days of silence and I haven't been functioning well. I had foolishly hoped that she'd chase after me or would call me relentlessly. That's how it's supposed to work after all. Big dramatic moments deserve a good run down and endless phone calls. I have to laugh at myself as I'm reminded that Quinn Fabray is the person I want to do the chasing. When it clicks that I'm going to have to be the one to fix this I pull out my phone.

_Hey. Can we meet and talk about this?_

That text was sent 3 hours ago.

_Please. I'm really sorry for just leaving. Can we please talk?_

That one goes unanswered as well. Great.

I can't just sit around and stare at a phone so I make my way to the practice halls, because with finals only weeks away surely she's practicing. I've been frantically opening every door and peaking in every window looking for her. I've apologized to half a dozen strangers in my search when I find Lucas in one of the rooms.

"Lucas! Hey…have you seen Quinn?"

"What? _You_ lost _Quinn_? I thought you two were attached at the hip." He laughs at his own little idea of a joke and continues his practicing.

"Seriously Luke…have you seen her?" The way he looks at me this time tells me he notices the unshed tears in my eyes.

"No. I'm sorry, Rach. I haven't seen her."

With that I turn and abandon the practice halls and head back to my room. As I'm settling in to sleep I fire off one last text in hopes that I'll awake to find a reply in the morning.

_Quinn, I'm so sorry for leaving you the other night. I was completely wrong in doing so. I just am really confused about all of this and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm actually NOT confused and I probably should be. You're my best friend and I miss you like crazy. Please just call or text or come over. Whenever. _

When morning comes after a rough night I check my phone to find nothing. Not one missed call or text. I shouldn't be surprised really because I woke up every 30 minutes to check the damn thing.

"This is ridiculous." I say to myself and just throw off my covers and get dressed.

20 minutes later I'm standing in front of Quinn's apartment building. 21 minutes later I'm lightly knocking on her door. 22 minutes later I'm frantically knocking on her door. 23 minutes later I'm pulling out my key to unlock the door so I can just search for her myself. I run through the place frantically, but she isn't anywhere to be found.

"Quinn?!" I desperately shout one last time. As I'm walking back in the hall one of the neighbors comes out and gives me that look that tells me I appear as insane as I feel right now.

"Hi. Sorry…have you seen the girl that lives here?" I smooth out my hair and wipe my tears in an attempt to both look and feel normal. She just shakes her head and goes back in her apartment. How friendly.

I quickly make my way back down to the street and press the button most often used on my speed dial. The other line picks up and I let out a sigh of relief…"Quinn, thank God!"

"Hey, this is Quinn. I'm busy so leave a message and I'll more than likely just text you back."

It's irritating that I know she just ignored my call. I leave a quick message begging her to get back to me, but something tells me it's useless.

I cry all the way back to my room and for the rest of the day and some days after that. I send emails that come back minutes later. I wait on the stoop of the stairs at her apartment, only she never shows.

When the class we shared let out yesterday I thought I caught a glimpse of her blonde hair as she ducked out of the back row. I fought through the other students to try and catch up with her. I shouted her name, but I never could catch her and she never did turn around. I think I see her almost everywhere, but every time begin to chase her she is just gone.

I camp out in the practice halls, but she is never there. I thought what we had built was stronger than this. I thought I knew her better and that she knew me. Maybe the fact that she disappeared from the planet proves that she does know me and how hard I would try to find her. I thought _I_ was the dramatic one.

I guess this is what happens when you turn down Quinn Fabray. She makes it like she was never even an option.


	8. Chapter 8

**A couple of weeks later…**

I still haven't heard anything from Quinn. The end of semester is just days away and I'm thankful that I've been too busy preparing for my finals that I haven't been able to dwell over her absence any more than necessary. Like any performer would do, I'm simply channeling everything into my performances.

I'm in the practice rooms now and a small part of me still hopes that Quinn will just do one of her magical appearances. I've all but given up on her at this point, and I never thought that day would come.

I just finished the last run through of my song. I'd keep going, but my normal bouncy energy just isn't here right now. After I pack up my stuff, open the door and turn to keep walking I'm sent stumbling forward into the hallway. I look back hoping to give somebody my piece of mind over leaving junk in the middle of the floor, but then I'm offered the bitter surprise of Quinn. She's sitting against the wall with her knees pulled into her chest and her arms are hugging them.

She slowly looks up at me and just says, "Hey."

I'm too surprised or relieved or whatever to react properly considering the situation, so I dumbly reply with "Hey."

"I have a favor to ask."

She has a what? I shake my head at the ridiculous suggestion and I only hope that my annoyance is apparent. "I'm sorry? You have a favor? Can we talk about the fact that this is the first time I've seen you in _weeks_?!"

"Honestly, I'd rather you just do the favor." She says coolly.

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" I turn and start to walk away from her.

"You said you'd owe me one!" I hear her shout. It makes me stop immediately. I think back to the spring recital when I sprung a performance on her at the last second.

"Are you serious? That was before you pulled your little Houdini act." I cross my arms and stare her down.

She stands up from the ground and approaches me timidly. "Part of my final presentation requires me to provide accompaniment to a singer." She looks away for a bit and then back to me. "The professor says we have to learn how to "discipline our talents in order to allow the best all around performance" or something like that. Rach, I wouldn't just appear like this if there was anyone else I'd want to play for. We can talk all you want, but I…I really need you here. I tried to get around this one, but he says it's mandatory."

I let out a sigh and look to the floor. "Did you ask anyone else first?"

"Of course not."

I find her eyes again so that I can make sure she's being sincere. Her eyes are begging and I can only think of how desperate she must be. Then again, she's never been shy when it comes to shock value. "And you'll talk to me about everything after this?"

She breaks eye contact, but I snap at her. "Quinn?!"

She quickly looks back and nods her head. "Now you have to beg." I say proudly.

She sighs her frustration for a moment, but then looks me square in the eye. "Rachel Berry, will you please perform with me?"

"Tell me how talented I am."

She shows the barest hint of a smirk. "I'm in desperate need of your unparalleled talent. There isn't anyone in this world that could sing a song better or louder than you could."

"Fine I'll do it, but only because I owe you."

She releases a breath of relief and opens her arms as if to hug me, but quickly withdraws. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Rachel Berry does not turn down performances, but Quinn…what the hell?! Where have you been?"

"Do we really have to do this right now?" She looks at me desperately for the second time tonight.

I simply hold my stance, purse my lips and raise my eyebrows at the notion of her thinking she's going to get off easy.

"Ugh…fine!" She grabs me by the wrist and hauls me into the practice room I just came out of. She closes the door and drags me to the piano bench. She forces me to sit down and then makes to pace around the room for a few seconds before she speaks again. "I've been practicing at the piano conservatory down the street. I've been going to classes late and leaving early as to avoid you. I don't go home until I know you won't be on my doorstep anymore, and I've been avoiding anywhere else you might look for me."

"Well that was harsh." I look at her in disbelief.

She stops pacing and looks at me again. "Sorry, it's the truth."

"Why, Quinn?"

"At first it was because I was angry with you. But then that just turned into fear and confusion. After that all set in, I just had no idea how to talk to you. I still don't really know how to talk to you."

"You're talking to me now…"

"Yeah…and honestly I'm trying not to hyperventilate attempting to not just run away again."

I scoff in disbelief and say, "Gee…thanks."

She shakes her head a bit and then sits down next to me. "I'm sorry. I just don't know how to be around you right now."

"Well talking to me is a good start."

"Okay."

I look at the clock on the wall and notice that it's getting late. I have an early day tomorrow and I really can't afford any more stress at this point. My vocal final is in two days and if I'm to be preparing yet _another_ song, I really should be getting some sleep.

"Look, Quinn…it's getting late and I really should go. Do you have the sheet music to the song you want me to sing?"

"Not with me, but I'll email it to you as soon as I get home. By the way…it's tomorrow." She scoots away from me as she says this…smart girl.

"Tomorrow?!" I turn to her quickly and throw my hands in the air. "Quinn! I can't be my best in a day!"

"Rachel, please…you can pull off anything within minutes. You can even use the lyrics during the performance if you need to. I know this is short notice…"

"Short notice?! It's a day! And please…I don't perform with a lyric sheet."

"I know…I know! I'm sorry…again. But you're amazing and I know you can do this. Please." She pleads with her eyes and it's really not fair.

"I really wish you would have responded to one of the gazillion messages I've sent you in the past few weeks."

She looks down disappointed in herself. "I know…I know. But you'll do it?"

"Of course; I have to go, but text me the details and the sheet music as soon as possible." I stand up and head to the door.

"Rachel, thank you."

I turn around, nod in acceptance and then make my way back to my room. It's not like me to just leave a situation like that, but I just don't feel like I owe her anymore of my time right now.

Back in high school when we wouldn't speak for weeks it was different. I had other friends and a whole life separate from my interactions with Quinn. Since we've been in New York my life hasn't been much of anything outside of my time with Quinn. Maybe that's the problem…forgetting everything else for one person probably isn't the smartest plan. It just felt right though. It felt like she was doing the same.

It's frustrating that she has this power. Everything feels like it's always on her terms. Then again it's not in my personality to just disappear like she can. She's the mysterious one and I'm…not. I couldn't be even if I tried. A world that doesn't know what Rachel Berry is feeling when she feels it is a world that I wouldn't recognize.

When I get back to my room, the first thing I do is open my laptop. I check my email and notice that Quinn had already sent over the sheet music for her song along with words of her gratitude. Guess this means I'm allowed to email her again.

I never used to be this bitter. Maybe I'm just tired of everything going according to her plans, but I wouldn't know how to do things any differently. I climb into bed and I'm not sure if it was the exhaustion of the day's activities that finally allows me a good night's sleep, or the peace in knowing that Quinn is talking to me again.

…

The first thing I do when I wake up is open the song I'm supposed to be singing with Quinn today. The song is "Realize" and I thank the gods of music that I know it. I briefly wonder if the song is supposed to be about us, but shake it off before I let myself go too far. Her email told me that her presentation is at noon, so that doesn't leave me much time to rehearse. Thanks a lot, Quinn Fabray. You're awesome.

When I arrive at her recital hall somebody else is in the middle of performing. I stand in the doorway as to not interrupt and take notice that this pianist is nowhere near as expressive as Quinn. They're playing for a flautist and it dawns on me that Quinn could have chosen pretty much anyone for this. I can only think of how hard it probably was for her to swallow her foolishly annoying pride long enough to pull her head out of her ass and come talk to me. Maybe I'll even forgive her soon.

It's like we notice each other in the same moment because as soon as I spot a head of messy blonde hair in one of the back rows, it turns around and smiles at me. She nods for me to move in and sit with her, so I do so. As I sit down, the duet finishes off and the rest of the class applauds half-heartedly as if they weren't even paying attention in the first place.

Quinn turns to me and whispers, "You ready?"

"I think so." I whisper back.

"Good, because we're next." She stands up as she says this while I simply try to remain calm. I haven't even warmed up properly.

I stand up and chase after her, "Quinn!" I stage whisper while kindly smiling to mister professor sir to try and seem perfectly calm and prepared. Quinn just keeps walking toward the piano until she takes her seat. I follow her until I'm forced to stop as I've reached the piano myself. She gestures with her eyes to the empty space beside her on the piano bench as if I'm supposed to sit there. I shake my head no and make to stand directly beside the piano. I don't think I could be next to her without trying to kill her right now.

I smile cautiously to my audience and the professor before turning to Quinn.

She announces, "I'm Quinn Fabray, and this is Rachel Berry. We'll be performing an original arrangement of,"Realize" for you today."

The professor nods to Quinn and then she looks in my direction as if to ask my permission. I nod slightly, but only because I'm marveled by the thought that she arranged this herself. I almost miss my cue, because it really is impossible to not get caught up in Quinn Fabray. It's hard on a daily basis really, but put the girl behind a piano and well…you can just forget trying to be logical about anything.

It's weird at first trying to get our phrasing right, but the imperfections of our performance make it that much more us. After I find the natural flow of her keystrokes I'm finally able to grow a little more confident in my performance. A few times I look back to Quinn and she's watching me closely every time. She looks back down to her fingers on the keys when I don't look away.

This is my favorite version of her I've decided. That is until her eyes close tight and I finally notice the pain in her face as she closes her eyes even tighter. Part of me grows angry because the lyrics I'm singing feel like I should be speaking them to her. It throws me for a second and I nearly choke on the last verse. I turn away when the closing notes come around and end the song the soft way that Quinn's piano is directing me.

The applause for us is much more prominent than it was for the last performers when we're done. I notice Quinn shake herself out of whatever she was thinking in that moment and look out to her fellow classmates in surprise. She smiles briefly and then looks back down before wiping the tear that suddenly emerged from her eye.

Her professor speaks once the room is quiet again. "Ms. Fabray…did you arrange that yourself?"

"Yes sir."

"Well done. The whole performance was beautiful. And you, Ms. Berry is it?" I nod and he continues, "That was simply amazing. You're very talented. Are you a student here?"

"Thank you very much, and yes sir I am."

"Good. Now…who is next?" He turns to the rest of the class and then I see Quinn moving back to her previous seat.

I follow her, but when I reach the seat next to her she whispers, "Thanks Rachel, I'll catch up with you after this, okay?"

I must look as shocked as I feel at her sudden dismissal, because she assures me with "I promise. I'll find you right away."

"Okay…" I say hesitantly, but I leave anyway.

I head back to my room in awe of Quinn Fabray. She is this absolutely confusing and complex girl that seems to have no grip on anything, but at the same time seems to know almost everything that I don't. I get back to my room wondering just what else she's capable of.

…

An hour passes before I hear the faintest of knocks on my door. "Come in!" I shout.

Quinn enters slowly and it prompts me to sit up on my bed with my back against the headboard and pillows. She comes in and sits directly in front of my feet, and as the bed dips my feet rest lightly against her backside. It would be very easy for me to just move my feet so that we have some space, but I can't seem to find the strength to do so.

She sits quietly staring at her hands upon her lap for a few moments, and after about 5 minutes of me just staring at the side of her head she says, "Thank you."

"It's fine Quinn. You knew very well I wouldn't let you fail."

"Yeah…" She says wistfully. "I'm really sorry for springing it on you like that. I _do_ realize it wasn't fair of me."

I simply nod to myself and at this moment the most interesting thing in the room appears to be the unraveling thread on the hemline of my shirt. It's all I seem to be able to look at anyway. We both stay quiet for an almost uncomfortably long amount of time and when I look at her she's already looking at me again. She raises an eyebrow and looks down to my feet. Apparently I got lost in the intricacies of my shirt for a bit too long and as I did so my toes seem to have danced their way under her un-tucked shirt. As I murmur an apology and try to pull them away, she places a hand over them to prevent me from doing so.

"You don't have to do that."

"Do what?" I ask scared.

"Apologize for touching me." She says as I gulp. "It feels nice." She speaks again as I try not to die a little.

"This isn't fair." I manage to find words.

"No, I suppose it isn't."

"Quinn, I tried so hard to apologize to you."

"I know." She says somberly. Then she says something that I never could have been prepared for. "I'm leaving, Rachel."

"But you just got here…" I say dumbly.

She shakes her head a bit and says, "No, you don't understand…" She shifts her position on the bed so that she's facing me directly now. She takes hold of my ankle that rests by her side and lets out a long wispy breath. "I'm leaving Tisch."

The pain and confusion in my expression must be obvious because she looks entirely too sympathetic. "What?! Why?"

"Honestly?"

"Well I don't see any reason to _lie_…"

"Okay…well…my professor…the one you performed for today? Two weeks ago he offered me an opportunity that I _apparently_ couldn't turn down." She says cautiously.

"Where?" I ask sternly.

"In his office."

"Quinn…"

She shakes her own stupidity off for a second and says, "Oh…right. England."

I pull my lips in between my teeth and exhale through my nose at her revelation. I paint on my best fake "I'm happy for you" face before I reply.

"Well, Quinn…that's great. Congratulations." I shift to try and stand up. "Now if you'll excuse me I really should be getting some practice in for my own final."

"Rach…please."

"Please what? I'm happy for you Quinn. It's great news…really." I say with purpose in hopes that she'll believe me. England? She's moving to England? I know I reacted poorly at our last sleepover, but what the hell? I finish standing up and move to collect my bag.

"I could go with you…help you practice if you want." She suggests frantically.

"No that's okay…I'll be fine." I hurry to try and get all of my crap together but just as I'm dropping my tuner whilst trying to shove it in some pocket _somewhere_, there's suddenly a hand on the small of my back. I stop everything to fully appreciate the collective tingles her touch sends to the very tips of my toes. I stand up straight and turn to face her. She drops her hand slowly and it traces a slow fiery path from my back to my hip before it's finally gone. "Quinn…what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to talk to you. Like you wanted, remember?"

I look at her and just try not to cry. "You're moving to England."

"For a while…yes."

"We were supposed to live together."

"I know." She replies with sad uncertainty.

"When do you leave?"

"As soon as the semester is over."

"Quinn! That's next week!" I shout in poignant shock.

"I know. I'm so sorry, Rachel. I admit that when I agreed to it I was highly emotional, but now that I think about it…it's a once in a lifetime thing. I would have said yes regardless."

I realize that this is the first time in a long while that she's made a big decision without as much as mentioning it to me first. I realize that the fact that we haven't been speaking is probably the reason for that, but it still hurts that she didn't think she could come talk to me about it despite of everything.

"I can imagine." I say sadly. "I really _am_ happy for you…I know it doesn't seem that way, but I am. It's just all so…shocking. One minute you're feeling me up and then we're not speaking. All of a sudden we're singing a song about realization and now you're moving to England?" I notice that her face scrunches up at something I said, but I continue. "It's all so quick…and it doesn't feel like any of it should be happening."

"I know." She moves her right hand towards the side of my cheek, and for a moment I think she might touch me there. Before she gets the chance to pull away I turn my head slightly so that I'm the one to initiate contact. She presses more firmly as I lean into the touch of her fingers. "Didn't you say you had to go somewhere?" She says softly.

"How long will you be there?" I ask somewhat pathetically to try and prolong this moment.

"I guess that depends on how I do while I'm there."

I suddenly forgot where I was supposed to be going in such a hurry, and my instincts tell me to blame Quinn for that. The stupid bewitching and all powerful Quinn has me transfixed.

"Rachel?"

I shake myself out of the moment, and reply with a very intellectual, "huh?"

"Didn't you say you needed to go?"

"Oh…right. Yeah. I have a lot of practicing to do." At least I think I do.

"I can still go with you if you'd like…"

I ponder the thought for a moment and wonder what the next few hours would be like if spent with her. I really wouldn't get much done, so I say, "No. I think I'll be alright. Thanks though."

"Okay."

We leave my room at the same time then, and walk in a really awkward silence until we have to part ways at the entrance of my building. She says a quiet goodbye and I'm sent the opposite direction completely dumbfounded by the whole day.

Quinn and I didn't really talk that much after that apart from a few texts here and there. I can only assume that we both distanced ourselves a bit to soften the blow of her departure. That's my excuse anyway. She went home that weekend to collect the rest of her clothes, and when I offered to join her she dismissed me without a second thought.

On the night before she was meant to leave we hung out at our coffee shop, but it was a pitiful experience. I didn't know what to say to her, and I was still hurt and mad over everything that had happened in the last few weeks. When we had finally had enough of the awkward silence and aimless small talk we called it a night. I told her that I'd meet her at her apartment in the morning so I could ride with her to the airport. She insisted it wasn't necessary, but I wouldn't take no for an answer. Things may be weird as hell between us, but I would never deny a friend a proper goodbye.

When I wake up and start getting ready I walk past my door barely noticing the small envelope that appears to have been slid under it sometime during the night. I frantically open it, ignore the unmarked CD and find Quinn's handwriting inside.

_Hey Rachel,_

_I feel as if I'm constantly apologizing to you, but considering our past I'm sure it comes as no surprise that this is the case. I _am _sorry though. I know you'll probably be too displeased with me once you've read this to realize the implication of this message once it's done, but I can't _not_ leave you something._

_Thank you again for performing that last song with me. I know it was a lot to ask of you, and it doesn't go unappreciated. I'm not sure if you were aware of the lyrics you were singing, but the first time I heard it I couldn't help but relate to it. I honestly never wanted it to be something that significant, but as I performed it with you all I could do was hope that you were realizing the same things that I had realized a few months ago. I just hope that if you realize anything it's that you do mean so much more to me than I have probably every properly expressed._

_This is going to make you mad, but Rachel…You can't be at that airport when I leave. I know things have been awful ever since that night in my apartment, and that's mostly my fault. You deserve answers and you deserve a better friend than the one I've been to you. With that being said…I can't possibly imagine saying goodbye to you, so I'm just not going to. _

_Most of this year has meant so much to me, and most of that came as a huge surprise. It's one I'm more than grateful for, so thank you for always letting me find you. You're my best friend Rachel. I'll never have one better than you._

_Quinn _

_P.S. I was messing around at the conservatory last week and recorded some of it. That in your hand CD holds the evidence. Listen carefully because I was thinking of you while playing._

I pick up my phone as soon as I finish reading. Only it goes straight to voicemail. I quickly get dressed and make my way to her apartment hoping to catch her. When I get there I don't even bother knocking and just use my key to open the door. When I do, I take notice that all that's left in the apartment is the furniture that was here when she moved in.

I try her phone again, but all I hear is her same stupid greeting.

**A/N: Thank you all for reading and for your reviews. The song they performed in this was indeed Colbie Caillat's "Realize". As for Quinn's little CD, just **_**listen **_**(emphasis on the listen) to this if you care enough: **

** watch?v=RZQNe8IMLtQ**

**It may be a while before I write again, but I assure you I'll update as soon as I'm capable of doing so. Thanks again!**


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